Description:
This is the prologue to the Autobiography of Bertrand
Russell, written on 25 July 1956 in his own hand. The
text follows:
PROLOGUE.
WHAT I HAVE LIVED FOR.
Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have
governed my life: the longing for love, the search for
knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of
mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me
hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a deep
ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.
I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy --
ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all
the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have
sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness -- that
terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness
looks over the rim of the world into the cold
unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it, finally,
because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic
miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that
saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought,
and though it might seem too good for human life, this is
what -- at last -- I have found.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have
wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to
know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend
the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above
the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have
achieved.
Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led
upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me
back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my
heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by
oppressors, helpless old people a hated burden to their
sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and
pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long
to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.
This has been my life. I have found it worth living,
and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered
me.
|