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Peace Stories

New - All 16 Peace Stories are also available in pdf format ( 351KB ).

These stories have been translated into Dari and Pashto awaiting field-testing.

 

Story 1 (Jameela’s Garden)

Story Synopsis:   Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.

In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close.  

Therapeutic Elements:

Healing images and symbols: singing, growing, nurturing, beauty, humour, playfulness, laughter, love, friendship, happy memories, joy

Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: cooperation, religious devotion, affection, industry, giving, forgiveness, empathy, appreciation of virtuous actions, listening, reflection of and acceptance of feelings, caring, understanding, teaching

Problem Issues: loneliness, longing for education, parental discord, sadness, physical and psychological trauma, anger, grief, loss, physical disability, feelings of worthlessness

Healing Strategies: gardening, singing, playing, praying, giving, appreciation of beauty, service to others, empathy, consulting, honouring the dead, refocusing on happy memories   

Jameela’s Garden

  Jameela sat in the garden, singing. She loved to sit near the flowers and the vegetables and sing to them sweet songs about growing strong and beautiful. Jameela was waiting for her little brother, Ahmed, to return from the Mosque so that they could water the garden together. Then she would ask him about what he learned. Jameela missed going to school and was lonely when Ahmed was gone.

Jameela did not hear Ahmed sneaking quietly up behind her.

“ Boo!”  shouted Ahmed, making Jameela jump.

“Ahmed, don’t do that! You scared me!” Jameela cried.

“Oh, Jameela, its fun to make you jump!” Ahmed replied, playfully tugging at her shawl.

Jameela tussled his hair. “ Let’s water the garden. I have been waiting for you. It’s more fun to do it together. What did you learn at the Mosque today?” Jameela asked.

“Why do you always ask me that, Jameela?” asked Ahmed impatiently.

“ I miss my school since it closed. I don’t get to see my friends very much anymore,” said Jameela while she filled the watering bucket.

“Yes, but you stay home and tend the garden and sing songs. I will tell you what I did at the Mosque if you sing a song for me,” bargained Ahmed with a grin.

“First we water. Then we play.” Jameela and Ahmed poured the water bucket into the trough together and watched the little river run toward the garden.

Suddenly, their father’s raised voice startled them. He was yelling at their mother. Ahmed and Jameela stopped watering to listen. They looked at each other, sadly.

“ Jameela, Daddy is yelling a lot,” Ahmed said quietly. “Do you think his leg is hurting?”

“Daddy is always angry and upset since that bad day. Bibi Jan says that it will take a long time for him to be happy again,” replied Jameela. “She says that we should not be angry with Daddy when he yells. We should remember that he is sad because Uncle Yunus died.  And he has to use those crutches now. I think that makes him angry, too. Bibi Jan says that Daddy misses doing his farming. She says he has too much time and not enough work. I wish Daddy could work again. I think he would be happy then.”

“I miss Daddy telling me stories. He used to tell me stories everyday on the way to Mosque about the prophet Mohammed and all his companions.” Ahmed said longingly.

“Maybe we could ask Daddy to tell us stories while we are watering in the garden?” suggested Jameela. The children continued to water, and there was silence from the house. “Let’s find the most beautiful tomato and bring it to Mama for tonight’s dinner.” Jameela always felt happy when she gave gifts from the garden to her family.

As they looked through the garden, their older brother Abdullah returned from the fields. He walked with his head down, preoccupied, and did not notice the children.

“Abdullah, Abdullah,” yelled Ahmed happily jumping up from the middle of the garden. “Look at the beautiful tomato we grew for Mama! I helped to grow it! Do you like it?”

“Ahmed, I wish you wouldn’t jump up and scare people like that. It makes me very angry. And I don’t care about your stupid tomato.” stormed Abdullah as he walked past. “ Sometimes, you are such a brat.”

Tears stung in Ahmed’s eyes. “Sorry, Abdullah, I didn’t mean to scare you,” said Ahmed ruefully.

“Don’t worry, Ahmed. Abdullah is being very mean,” consoled Jameela. “Abdullah, you don’t have to make him cry just because you are in a bad mood.”

“I’ve got more important things to worry about than tomatoes, Jameela,” admonished Abdullah, striding away.

“Well, do you think you could help us with our lessons later, Abdullah? I need some help with my writing,” asked Jameela hopefully.

“Jameela, I have no time for your lessons. I don’t have enough time for my own. I must do all the farm work that Dad and Uncle Yunus used to do and do my own chores. I hate those stupid animals!” Abdullah strode off angrily.

Jameela and Ahmed watch their brother sadly.

“He used to teach me reading writing every day,” said Jameela.

“And he used to play ball with me and Uncle Yunus” Ahmed sighed.” Maybe Bibi Jan knows why Abdullah doesn’t like us anymore.”

“Ahmed, Abdullah still loves us. But maybe, Bibi Jan knows why he has changed. He is not the same since the landmine.” Jameela and Ahmed ran to find Bibi Jan who was sitting in the shade knitting a sweater for Jameela.

“Bibi, is my sweater almost finished?” Jameela asked excitedly, forgetting for the moment why she had come to see Bibi Jan.

“Yes, my love, soon you will be wearing it.” Bibi Jan’s voice was low and sweet and gentle. She was known throughout the village for her wise and kind words. “That is a most ripe and red tomato. It must enjoy your singing, Jameela, to grow into such a fine tomato. And Ahmed, I noticed that you have been helping with the watering. You help the whole family when you help in the garden.”

“Bibi Jan, we came to ask you why Abdullah won’t help us with our lessons anymore. He’s always mad at us and doesn’t spend any time with us,” said Jameela.

  “Yes, and he won’t play ball with me,” pouted Ahmed.

“I see that you are both sad that you have not been able to learn and play with your big brother these last few months. This tells me that you both love him very much and that you miss the happier times we all enjoyed before. We must try to understand the sadness of others and help them to find joy again. What could you do that might help Abdullah be joyful again?”

“How did he lose his joy? When I  lose my ball, I find it under the bushes or in the garden. Do you think that is where Abdullah’s joy is?” Ahmed asked, puzzled.

Bibi Jan laughed her rich, deep laugh. “ Ahmed, you might be right! Jameela a flower from the garden placed beside Abdullah’s books will help him to remember your love of him and the beauty of Allah’s creations. You and Abdullah can take a bouquet of flowers to Yunus’ grave together and say a prayer.  And Ahmed, if you throw the ball to Abdullah, he will catch it and throw it back. Maybe he will find that it feels good to play even for just a short time, and he will begin to play ball with you again.”

“I am going to choose the most colourful and delicate flower for Abdullah right now and ask him if he wants to visit the grave with me!” Jameela ran excitedly back to the garden.  Ahmed looked sad. He rolled his ball around on the ground.

“You feel as if you have lost your friend,” suggested Bibi Jan. Ahmed nodded. “Abdullah lost his friend, too.”  “He didn’t lose me. I’m still here!” exclaimed Ahmed.

“He no longer has Uncle Yunus’ friendship. When Abdullah was little, Yunus and Abdullah used to ride on the old bicycle to school together. They used to laugh and play jokes on each other. They played ball and worked in the fields together. Now Abdullah is very sad that Uncle Yunus is dead. He feels very angry that the landmine killed his friend.” “I know how he can feel better about Uncle Yunus!” Ahmed shouted, jumping up excitedly. “You told me that if I miss Uncle Yunus, I can remember his voice and remember all the happy times together and I can dream good dreams about him. And Bibi, I do! Every night, I think of the time we lay under the tree by the garden, just me and Uncle Yunus and Abdullah and we told stories and jokes and laughed. I am going to tell Abdullah to remember that time too!!”

“Yes Ahmed, you will help him find joy again,” Bibi Jan told her grandson as he skipped off toward the house. She turned to look at Jameela in the garden, singing, and watched as she carefully selected a flower for Abdullah. Then Bibi Jan returned to her knitting and smiled.

 

Story 2  (The Wisdom of Bibi Jan)

Story Synopsis:   Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.

In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close.

“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role in the as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.

Therapeutic Elements:   Healing images and symbols: warmth, growth, nurturing, playfulness, laughter, symbolic release, happiness, safety, comfort, love . Modeling of Peaceful and Virtuous Actions: industry, contribution, compassion, friendship, marital harmony, respect for elders, emotional support, empathy, religious devotion, thankfulness, helpfulness, listening, physical comfort, affection, empowerment, encouragement, recognition and praise of virtuous actions. Problem Issues: longing for education, anger, feelings of being over-burdened and over-whelmed, conflict, Post Traumatic Stress Symptoms: worry, pre-occupation, nightmares, fear, sleep disturbance. Healing Strategies: empowerment, hugging and comforting, drawing and destroying fears, drawing hopeful images, recognizing and facing fear, supporting a friend 

The Wisdom of Bibi Jan

The sun was warm upon Jameela’s back as she tended the vegetable garden. She carefully watered and trimmed and weeded. She was waiting for her older brother Abdullah to return from school. Jameela wanted to see if Abdullah had brought any new books home that she could try to read. She hoped that Abdullah would help her. Jameela noticed her little brother’s kitten playing in the shade, chasing whirlwinds of dust. The kitten’s jumping and pouncing made Jameela laugh out loud.

“What are laughing at?” asked Abdullah as he came into the yard.

“Ahmed’s kitten thinks he’s a tiger,” grinned Jameela. “Will you have time to help me with my reading today, Abdullah? You said would. Please?”

“ Jameela, I told you before, ask Auntie Fatima to help you,” Abdullah said angrily.  “I have to take the animals to graze.” Abdullah walked away with Jameela following behind.

“What did you do at school today?” Jameela was always curious about Abdullah’s friends.

“Jameela, don’t bother me. I have enough problems without you trailing after me asking me questions.” Abdullah prepared to go to the fields. Jameela followed him like a shadow. Abdullah saw that his sister would persist until he talked to her about his day.

“O.K. Jameela, you win. I am worried about my friend, Kadeem, who is acting very strangely these days. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. He’s either getting angry with someone or he’s not paying attention to anything that’s happening, like he’s thinking about other things.” said Abdullah..

“Maybe we should ask Bibi about this. She always knows how to help,” suggested Jameela. As they passed through the yard, they saw Bibi Jan and Kaka Ghulam sitting together on the old wooden bench, talking. Their grandparents looked upset.

“What is wrong, Bibi?” asked Jameela

“Has something bad happened, Kaka Ghulam?” Abdullah was worried.

“There has been some fighting in the hills. Some of the families that live outside the village are very worried and scared,” stated Kaka Ghulam.

“My friend, Kadeem, lives over on the big hill outside the village. He has been acting differently lately. I wonder if the fighting has anything to do with it?” asked Abdullah.

“When we are scared, we do act differently. Sometimes we cry, sometimes we get angry and sometimes we pretend that we are not scared,” said Bibi Jan. “I wonder if your friend is scared about what is going to happen.”

“I thought that he was angry with me and I have been leaving him alone,” pondered Abdullah. “What should I do, Bibi Jan?”

“It is hard for young men to be scared. We expect them to be brave all the time. I think that your friend would like you to be his friend, not leave him alone. Ask him to come to visit you and perhaps you can invite him home and share some dried fruit and talk quietly together. Spending time with a close friend is a good solution to being scared,” said Bibi Jan.

“I think that you should both go to the Mosque together and pray. This too will help your friendship strengthen,” added Kaka Ghulam

“Thank you for your kind words. I need to go to tend to the animals.” Abdullah felt happier  because he now knew how to help his friend.

“I, too, need to go. It is time for afternoon prayers.” Kaka Ghulam used his cane to help himself to his feet and walked slowly out of the gate.

Jameela had sat quietly listening to her Grandmother’s words.

“Bibi, do you ever get scared?” asked Jameela.

“We all are frightened at some time. Do you get frightened sometimes?”  Bibi Jan  asked gently.

“Sometimes, I don’t want to go to sleep. I lie down in my bed and try to stay awake as long as possible and the more tired I get the more scared I get.” Jameela’s voice was very quiet and her tears shone in the sunlight.

“What is frightening you, Jameela, my love?” Bibi Jan touched Jameela’s face and looked into her eyes.

“I’m scared because sometimes when I go to sleep, I have dreams about Ahmed and me out in the fields and there is a big explosion and I jump up and I’m scared but I am happy that I am in my bed and not in the field,” Jameela said. Her eyes were wide and her lips trembled. “And I have to look to make sure that Ahmed is safe and asleep. Then I try not to sleep but I know I will and I get scared.” Jameela felt herself starting to cry and fell into her Grandmother’s arms.

“Jameela, thank you for telling me about your bad dreams,” Bibi Jan said. “Talking to someone you love about your fears is the first thing to do when you want to feel better. I know many different ways to help your fears get smaller and smaller and finally get so small you will hardly notice them,” smiled Bibi Jan. Jameela’s face began to brighten. She knew by Bibi Jan’s voice that they were about to have some fun.

“First, Jameela, take my cane. Now, draw in the dirt a picture of the scariest monster you ever could imagine. That’s it, big and mean and scary. Maybe you should give it some horns and ugly teeth. I am sure that monster has very bad breath. Now, Jameela, with your feet, stomp on it, and rub out the monster. That’s it. The monster is all gone. You made the monster and you made it go away. Now do that with your scary dream,” directed Bibi Jan. Jameela’s smile faded from her face. “You can make it and you can make it go away. Try it!”

Jameela drew a big explosion in the dirt. She drew wiggly lines all around it.

“Those are my scared feelings,” she said.

“Good, Jameela, they look like scared feelings. Now, just like the monster, rub it all out with your feet. Keep going until it’s all gone. Good! You did it,” said Bibi Jan proudly.

“My bad dream is gone. I want to do it again!” and Jameela drew an even bigger explosion and even bigger scary feelings and then scuffed them away with her feet.

“Now draw you and Ahmed safe in your beds, just a small picture because we will leave this one for everyone to see. If you find that the rain has washed it away, you can draw it again, or place little stones on your picture so that it will stay longer. Later you can draw it on some paper to show your Mama,” said Bibi Jan. “And Jameela, if you are scared at night, just squeeze my hand, and I will tell you I love you, you are safe with Bibi.”

Jameela quickly collected small stones and pebbles and place them in the lines of her drawing of Jameela and Ahmed. Many little pebbles made up their big smiles. She placed a circle of stones all around her picture so everyone would notice and smile too.  

 

Story 3  (Making Butter-Bread)

Story Synopsis: Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.

In “Jamila's Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother,  Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close.  

“The Wisdom of  Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role in the as comforter and adviser. Abdulla’s concern over the change in personality of a school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is having nightmares, and  Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.

Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making Butter- Bread”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance.  Bibi Jan uses the opportunity of making Butter-Bread to help Jameela come to terms with her father’s injury, as well finding a positive means of expression of grief for Yunus for Fatima.

Therapeutic Elements: Healing images and symbols: nurturing, staring down fears, courage, strength, self-nurturing, self-healing, happy memories, growth, singing, empowerment, laughter

Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: service to others, cooperation, empathy, emotional support, helpfulness, reflective listening, recognition and praise of virtuous actions, affection, humour, physical comforting, religious devotion

Problem Issues: Post Traumatic Stress Symptoms: anger, flashbacks, intrusive memories, avoidance, fear, nightmares, sleep disturbance, anxiety, hyper-vigilance, over-reactivity, “triggers” of memories.

Healing Strategies: spending time with a troubled child listening to the child, hugging and comforting, “exposure “ to hurtful memories and realities, use of drawing, distraction from hurtful memories, supporting each other in difficulties.

 

  Making Butter-Bread

Jameela and Abdulah were walking home from a neighbour's house. The path was narrow. Jameela kept to the very centre of it and placed her feet carefully one in front of the other in a straight line.

"Why are you walking like that, Jameela?" said Abdullah. "It looks kind of dumb."

"I'm scared of landmines off the edges of the path,” said Jameela.

"Dope!" said Abdullah. "They cleared the landmines. Didn't you know? There's even a sign down there, saying so. Can't you read?" He gave Jameela a shove ,sending her off the path. She screamed in fear, enough to make Abdullah realize this wasn't her usual reaction to his teasing and roughhousing. He stopped and stared at his sister.

"I CAN read that sign. I KNOW they're supposed to have cleared the place. But every time I pass our field the terrible memories came back. I keep seeing it all, as if it was just happening. It makes me feel horrible. Doesn't it happen to you?"

"Nope. I try not to think about it. You should try too."

"I'm not TRYING to think about it, Abdullah. The memories just come in a flash." 

The children reached home and went into the house.

"Jameela," called her grandmother. "Could you take this cup of tea to your father, dear? He's sitting outside." Jameela paused. "Bibi, could you get Ahmed to do it? I have to water the garden." This was most unlike Jameela, who was usually a willing little girl with tasks. But  Bibi Jan noticed a pattern - every time a task involved her father, Jameela tried to get out of it.  Bibi Jan took the tea out herself, thinking deeply.

Jameela saw her and ran up. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Bibi."

"Jameela, I think we'll make some Butter-Bread together. Let's get started," and her grandmother headed toward the kitchen.

Jameela stood in amazement. Had she heard right? She was expecting a reprimand, even a punishment, and now her grandmother was saying they'd make Butter-Bread together. Making Butter-Bread was special enough, but she'd never before been allowed to help.

In the kitchen  Bibi Jan had some bread which was partially risen.  She got  the ghee and the sugar. She let Jameela kneed the mixture together.

"My word! You are a good Butter-Bread maker. I think you should taste it to see if it's right," she winked at Jameela. The mixture was so delicious! Jameela would have liked to eat it just like that, before it went into the oven. Fatima, Bibi Jan’s young daughter-in-law, came in and saw what they were doing. She started the fire in the oven.  They began to shape the Butter-Bread into rounds in small baskets so it could rise a while longer.

"Jameela," said Bibi Jan, " You know you were telling me a little while ago about your frightening nightmares about the landmine explosion?" Jameela nodded. "Sweetheart, I think there's something more bothering you."

Jameela wondered how her grandmother could know. "Bibi," she said. "Can you have day-mares?"

"Day-mares? Day-mares? What do you mean, darling?"  said  Bibi Jan. Fatima looked very attentive.

"Well, Bibi, sometimes in the day-time, I get these sudden memories of what I saw on the landmine day. Something reminds me and then, all at once, it's as if I'm there all over again. It's horrible." Fatima stopped shaping the Butter-Bread and stood like a statue.

"Darling, I know exactly what you mean. I didn't know this was happening to you. I'm glad you told me. But one more thing: How does this connect with your father?"

Jameela wondered if her grandmother could see into her mind. "Bibi," a little sob escaped. "I do love Daddy. But when I see his leg, what's left of it, I mean, the memories come back and I hate that. So I try to stay away and not look at it. That's why I didn't want to take the tea to him." Now Jameela was really crying. Fatima had turned pale as images of her dying husband flashed in her mind.

"Oh dear," said Bibi Jan. "Our Butter-Bread recipe definitely doesn't include tears. Come and sit on my lap." Jameela snuggled into her grandmother's hug. Fatima knelt beside them, stroking Jameela's hair. Her hand was trembling.

"These are things I learned from someone who was very old when I was very young," began Bibi Jan. "It didn't mean so much when I was young, but as my life flowed along, there were some very bad things that happened, and then I remembered what I'd been taught. I followed the instructions and it helped. This strengthened me for the worst thing that happened, the day of the landmine. So now it's time for me to teach you two." Jameela's hand became still as she listened intently. Fatima's crying stopped. "She told me that when bad memories spring into your mind, don't run away from them. They will only follow you. You try to hide from them and they leap out at you."

"But what can you do, Bibi?" Fatima spoke for the first time. "The memories are so terrible. They're unbearable."

"You stare them down", said Bibi Jan.

"Stare them down?" said Fatima, amazed. "But how can you do that? "

"You breathe in all the courage you have, and all the strength you have, and ask for the help of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful, and then you breathe out and stare it down. At first, you can only do this for a short time, because it is so hard. Then you have to let yourself get away for a little time. You do something to remind yourself that you're not in the time of the memory, you're here, right now. Sometimes I make myself a cup of tea; sometimes I go and watch the children playing. Then something reminds you and the memory leaps back. You breathe in and out and stare it down again, this time for a bit longer. After a while you feel as if you're getting stronger than the memory, and that slowly it is taking the proper place of all memories, at the back of your mind, to come out only when called."

Jameela had sat up and was staring at her grandmother. Fatima was open-mouthed. "Bibi, do you have this too?" they said.

"Yes, darlings. I know exactly what you're talking about because it happens to me too.  And Fatima, dear, you must be suffering too in the same way."

"Oh, I am, I am, Bibi. It's terrible. Sometimes I don't know how I can get through a day. I seem to be living in a hell of terrible memories. So many things set off a memory, and then it's as if I'm there, on that terrible day. And the nights are worse."

"Fatima, Jameela, we can get through this. Do what I told you and I think you'll start to feel stronger than the memories. Sometimes it takes a short time, sometimes it takes a long time, but we can get through it. If you're having a bad time in the days ahead, come to me and we'll stare the memories down together. Then , when we've done enough staring down, we'll look at the picture of Yunus that we took last Eid, where  he looks so handsome in his new clothes and turban."

"You are so brave, Bibi. I'd like to be as brave as you," said Jameela.

"You will be, little one. You have a brave heart."  Bibi Jan gave her an extra hug. “When you’ve been brave and stared down the memory a bit, you should go and do something nice, like playing in the garden or singing one of your favourite songs. Jameela," said  Bibi Jan, suddenly, “go into the garden and bring back three small smooth stones.”

When Bibi Jan gave Jameela and Fatima each a stone and held one in her palm. “Now, when we need to remind ourselves that we’re here, now, and not in that time of terrible memories, we can each feel our stone in our pocket, and think of each other.”

"Bibi," said Jameela, "What if I don't feel brave enough to stare it down?"

"Then you can go and draw the memory. That takes courage too."

Fatima's cheeks were pink again. “When I visited my parents last month, my brother, the one who's a doctor, was there. He asked me about bad memories. He called them flashbacks. He said they’re often brought on by a small thing that reminds you. That's exactly how it is with me. He told me also that people who suffer from these memories are more nervous and jumpy, as if they’re worried about something bad happening again, any time." Jameela remembered how anxious she felt on the path by the fields. "My brother said that lots of people who have had terrible experiences suffer from this problem and that it has a name - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I asked him what the doctors did for it. He tried to explain, but I must say it sounded a good deal like what you've told us, Bibi."

"Ah, well, darlings. There's nothing new under the sun. People have always had bad experiences, and they've had to deal with them. Sometimes they do it well and become stronger, and sometimes they do it badly and become weaker. It's nice to have a modern name, but it's the same old thing. You have to be brave and not run away, and you have to stare the memory down for as long as you can. Sometimes you have to make yourself be with what reminds you of the bad memory and get used to it."

"How would you do that, Bibi?" said Jameela.

"Well, you try not to look at your father's leg because it brings back memories, right? Now, you have to be brave and make yourself look at your father's leg for longer and longer periods of time."

Jameela found herself wanting to run away from this idea. Then she remembered that she wished to be a brave woman like her grandmother.

"Tonight, when I massage your father's leg, how about you stay with me and hold the ointment? You don't have to look all the time. Just as much as you can handle and you can try to think of it in a new way- as the sign of a father who loves his family and had the courage to till the fields despite the risk of mines."

"OK, Bibi. I think I can do that."

Fatima, you’re suffering so much. You can come to me when it gets hard."

Fatima's tears glistened. "Thanks, Bibi. I want to be a brave woman too."

"You know," said  Bibi Jan, "sometimes it seems like having a big lump of something that tastes terrible in your mouth. You can't swallow it and you can't spit it out. No matter how much you don't want to, you have to chew it up until it goes down.  Oh my goodness! We're making something that's going to taste very good. The fire is just right for the Butter-Bread, and I think it has risen enough.  Let's get them baking. "

 Bibi Jan and Fatima showed Jameela how to slap the bread on the sides of the oven in just the right spot to have it bake perfectly.  They sat and waited, sipping tea. The smell of the Butter-Bread baking was wonderful.

When they were just golden, Fatima took them out. Together they lay them out to cool. Just then little Ahmed darted into the kitchen. He had smelled the Butter-Bread. He snatched one off the table and ran off laughing, passing the bread from hand to hand because it was so hot.   Jameela grabbed the wooden spoon and chased him, laughing too.

 

Story 4  (Mirza’s Heart)

Story Synopsis: Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.

In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close. “The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role in the as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.

Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her father’s injury, as well finding a positive means of expression of grief for Yunus for Fatima.Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up inside “Mirza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the yearning in him to be that way again.

Therapeutic Elements: Healing images and symbols: laughter, giving, humour, dreams of happiness and peaceModeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: compassion, patience, kindness, empathy, helpfulness, physical comfort, praise and recognition of virtuous actionsProblem Issues: grief, depression, loss, isolation, remorse, sadnessHealing Strategies: story telling, consulting, emotional support, empathy, emotional release, physical comfort

  Mirza’s Heart

It was the middle of the morning. Jameela watched her father Mirza come out of the house. She was happy because she was no longer afraid to look at the stump of his leg. Mirza was leaning on his crutch and moving very slowly. He sat on the old wooden bench in the yard and put his crutch on the ground. His shoulders were slumped and he was quiet, just looking at the ground.

Mirza had been a happy man before the accident. Before the landmine killed Yunus and took off Mirza's leg, Mirza used to laugh and bring little presents to Jameela. Sometimes he would tell stories like Bibi Jan. Jameela would run up to him and say, “Tell me a story, Daddy!” Mirza would pretend that he couldn’t remember any more stories. “Stories?” he would say. “Oh, I think I’ve used them all up! There aren’t any left!”But then he would smile and say, “Well, I do remember one little story about something that happened a long time ago,” and off he would go. Sometimes they were sad stories, but usually they were happy and funny.Ever since the landmine Mirza was an unhappy man, and sometimes he got angry for no reason. He hadn’t told Jameela and Ahmed any stories for a long time.Jameela looked at her father sitting on the old bench. He didn’t look angry today, but he looked very, very sad. Jameela wanted to make him happy, so she walked up to him and smiled.“Tell me a story, Daddy!”Mirza looked at Jameela. For a long time he said nothing. At last he spoke.“The stories are all gone. There are no more stories.” Then he turned away from Jameela and looked down at the ground again.Jameela frowned. She didn’t understand. This time her father didn’t seem to be joking. He looked very serious. But how could his stories be all gone?  Jameela went to Bibi Jan.“Bibi?”“Yes, dear,” her grandmother answered.“Daddy says his stories are all gone.” Bibi Jan listened while Jameela told her what Mirza had said. Bibi Jan was quiet for a few moments. She was trying to figure out how to explain Mirza’s sadness.“Jameela,” Bibi Jan said at last, “ a heart holds a story the way a nest holds a beautiful bird. That bird is happy to be in the nest. It rests, it sings, it has babies. But what if there is a terrible storm and the wind blows so hard that the nest gets torn apart? Now there are holes in the nest! Little pieces of nest fluttering in the wind! That bird is not able to stay there. Maybe it has to fly away. Now, your father’s heart is like that nest. It has many holes in it. The stories have flown away. Who knows where they are now? Perhaps they have flown to the mountains.”“Why did his heart get holes in it?” Jameela asked, puzzled.“Oh, Jameela! When Yunus stepped on the landmine, that was a bad day! Your father lost his brother! And he lost his own leg! Jameela! That landmine blew many holes in your father’s heart!”“Will his heart ever get better?” the saddened child asked.Bibi Jan put her arms around Jameela. “You must be patient. Hearts take a long time to heal. You must be kind to your father, and you must let him talk about the things that make him sad.”“But will the holes get fixed? Will the stories come back?”Bibi Jan thought for a moment. “Remember when I said a story is like a bird? Well, that bird might be happy in the mountains for a while, but then it would get lonely for its old nest. I’m sure there is a story right now that is lonely for its old nest in Mirza’s heart. Now, off you go to help your mother. And remember to be patient with your father.”All the rest of the day, as Jameela helped her mother Haleema, she thought about her father’s heart. She kept thinking of his heart as a little nest, hanging down from the tree with bits of grass and twigs falling out.“How does a nest get mended?” she wondered to herself.In the afternoon Jameela went outside the house, and there was Mirza, still sitting on the old wooden bench, still looking down at the ground. Jameela went to him.“Daddy?”Mirza looked at his daughter.“Daddy, can I tell you a story?” “A story?” her father responded. “What...what do you mean?” “Bibi says a story is like a bird and a heart is like a nest. She says when the bird’s nest gets holes the bird flies away to the mountains. She says your heart is like a little bird’s nest with holes.”Mirza was looking at his daughter now, listening.“But I think a bird is the only thing that can fix a bird’s nest,” Jameela continued. “So maybe a story is the only thing that can fix a heart. I could tell you a story”And then something very shocking happened. Mirza began to cry! He put his head on his knees and cried and cried. Jameela didn’t know what to do! She had never seen her father cry! She ran into the house to get her mother, Haleema.Haleema saw Jameela coming at the very same moment that she heard her husband crying. She ran outside to comfort Mirza.Jameela thought: “What have I done? I wanted to help my father and now look!”Jameela just sat in the house by herself and said nothing. She tried to sit so quietly that no one would notice her. Her stomach began to hurt and she felt very sad.When Jameela went to bed that night her father came over to talk to her.  Now it was her turn to cry! She felt so sorry for what she had done!Mirza sat down beside her. He laid down his crutch.“Don't cry, Jameela,” he said. “Bibi Jan’s right. My heart is like a nest torn by a terrible wind. Sometimes I hear the wind moaning in the tree and I think my heart will blow away and be lost forever. When a man’s heart is like this he has no stories. He has no joy. He feels as if he can’t speak or eat or sleep or laugh. Sometimes he can’t even cry. Today I was able to cry. Maybe that’s a good thing.”Jameela sat up. “Do you want me to tell you a story?” she asked.Mirza answered, “Yes. I think that would be very nice.”So Jameela told Mirza one of her father’s old stories about the bad boy in the palace. Mirza listened carefully. Once he had to wipe a tear from his eye. Once he smiled.“You did a good job with that story,” he said, once she had finished. “Maybe you will become a great storyteller and you will help our people to feel better.”“Does your heart feel better?” she asked.“Well, Jameela, this heart is still not in good shape. It will take a long time to heal. But I believe your story has made it a bit stronger. Yes, I believe so. Maybe soon it will be strong enough to hold one of those tiny stories that fly in from the mountains early in the morning.”And Mirza patted Jameela’s head and tucked her into bed.That night Jameela had a very good dream. All of Afghanistan was covered with grass and flowers and trees. People were walking in the tall grass, talking to each other and laughing. As they walked, strange, beautiful birds flew toward them. “Oh!” said Jameela. “Stories! These must be the stories of the people of Afghanistan, flying back to them from the mountains!”

 

Story 5  (Yunus’s Song)

Written by: Dr. Joanna Santa Barbara; Mary-Jo Land; Dr. Graeme MacQueen; Kevin Arthur Land  Context and cultural information: Dr. Seddiq Weera   Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land   Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and Dr. Graeme MacQueen Centre for Peace Studies , McMaster University Hamilton, Ontario, Canada

Story Synopsis: Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.

In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close.  

“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role in the as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.

Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her father’s injury, as well finding a positive means of expression of grief for Yunus for Fatima.

Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up inside “Mirza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the yearning in him to be that way again.

The innocence of children once again plays a role in helping an adult deal with loss in “Yunus’ Song”. Jameela and Ahmed are playing ball when they notice that Fatima is crying for her dead husband. Ahmed tries to make her laugh by putting a pot on his head banging it, with some success. The story ends with Fatima singing a song her husband used to sing to keep his memory alive.

Therapeutic Elements:

Healing images and symbols: playfulness, laughter, love

Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: industry, empathy, teaching

Problem Issues: grief and loss

Healing Strategies: humor, trying to make others happy, encouraging sharing of sadness and memories, finding a new role for the bereaved

Yunus’s Song

Ahmed and Jameela were playing with the red ball in the yard, shouting and laughing. In one corner sat Fatima on a stool, her head over her sewing. The ball rolled near her foot.

"Hey Fatima!" shouted Ahmed, "Throw it back to us." Fatima didn't look up at the children. She just kicked the ball in their general direction. Jameela beckoned Ahmed behind the shed.

"I think she's crying," she whispered. "She cries a lot," said Ahmed. "She doesn't play with us any more, the way she used to." Ahmed ran off toward the kitchen.

 Jameela wondered what to do.  She loved her quiet and gentle aunt. Fatima used to read her stories and show her how to do grown-up things, but since the landmine accident, Fatima was lost in sadness. She knew, too, that Fatima was struggling with the memories of that terrible day, and sometimes she talked with Fatima about trying to be brave enough to stare the memories down, instead of running away from them. It was very hard. Ahmed popped out of the kitchen door with a big copper pot on his head. He had a wooden spoon in his hand and banged the pot loudly, marching up and down in front of Fatima.
"Ahmed, Ahmed, what are you trying to do?" said Fatima with a little smile.  "I'm trying to make you laugh, Fatima. You're so sad," said Ahmed pulling the pot over his face  "Well, you did, you scallywag."

"Fatima, why are you crying so much?" Ahmed asked.

"Oh, Ahmed, be quiet. You know why. It's because of Uncle Yunus," said Jameela. Fatima said, "It's ok. He can ask me. It is because of Yunus. I miss him so much."

"Me too. Remember when he used to play ball with me, and pretend to miss it when I threw?" said Ahmed. "And when he'd chase me around the well?"  said Jameela.  Fatima broke down in tears again.

"Oh no. We've made her cry again. Oh , we're sorry , Fatima. We won't mention Uncle Yunus again."  Bas-Bibi drew near. "It's alright to cry. It's good to share memories. It's good to talk about the things we loved about Yunus. There were so many things to love about him. Fatima, remember the day you were married and he was teasing you so much during the wedding? He said he thought he was the cleverest person in the family until you came into it, and now he was sure you were the cleverest. I thought you would burst with blushing."

"He was proud that I had an education........but I don't know what use it is now, or what use I am at all....."

"Fatima, you could teach me reading and writing. Uncle Yunus wanted me to be educated too. He said so. Could you, Fatima?" begged Jameela.

"Oh yes, Jameela. I'd really like to. Could I, Bibi?" asked Fatima.

"I think Yunus would really have liked that. Why don't you two find some time each day when the chores are done?  But Fatima, I want to say more to you about  what we're all going through."

"Bibi," said Fatima, "I don't want to burden you at all. It's terrible for you. He was your youngest son, and so wonderful," Fatima said, wiping away her tears.

"Fatima, dear, it is terrible,  for both of us - mother and wife. So we can help each other. I don't feel like grieving alone. I want to share the good memories of my son, with you. You loved him so much and made him so happy. Sometimes, let's have a cup of tea after supper, and some of my special dried fruit. We can look at the photos of Yunus and remember our happy days with him. Let's do that tonight, Fatima."  Fatima nodded, too full of feelings to speak.

"Will you do me a special favour tonight then?" said Bibi Jan. "Will you wear the lovely necklace he gave to you? I'd so like to see it on your neck again, and to remember his delight."

Fatima nodded again.

Ahmed said, "Fatima, do you remember that funny song Yunus used to sing to me?"

Fatima began to sing the song. Bas-Bibi and the children joined in, Ahmed banging the rhythm on the pot, all of them smiling at each other in their memories and with tears running down their cheeks.

 

Story 6  (Leaving Home)

Story Synopsis: Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.In “Jameela’s Garden”,  Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close.   “The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role in the as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a schoolfriend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears. Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making Cookies”. Her  fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her father’s injury, as well finding a positive means of expression of grief for Yunus for Fatima.

Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up inside “Mirza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the yearning in him to be that way again.The innocence of children once again plays a role in helping an adult deal with loss in “Yunus’ Song”. Jameela  and  Ahmed are playing ball when they notice that Fatima is crying for her dead husband. Ahmed tries to make her laugh by putting a pot on his head banging it, with some success. The story ends with Fatima singing a song her husband used to sing to keep his memory alive.When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.  Therapeutic Elements: Healing images and symbols: hope, safety, humour, loveModeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: physical comfort, leadership, prayer, cooperation, emotional support, compassion, caring, protectiveness,Problem Issues: war trauma, fear of injury, fear of death, destruction, sadness, fear of change, loss of home and property, fear of loss of home and heritage,  fear of loss of identity, fear of the future, shameHealing Strategies: leadership, family cohesion, empathic listening, physical comfort and support, reassurance, safe-guarding the past

  Leaving Home

  All was quiet. The red glow of the dawn crept across the eastern sky. Swirling mists, red and acrid, pushed aside the darkness of the long night. The stillness, the quiet, hung heavily, as if the countryside was holding its breath. On this morning, there were no birds singing, no early morning sounds of a village preparing for a new day. The bombing and gunfire had continued most of the night.Jameela’s arms were wrapped around her little brother Ahmed. Both children were lying huddled together with their mother and grandmother. Their terror and their crying had left them exhausted. Mirza, their father, looked out of the window.“Abdullah, I want you to go out and check our buildings. Climb on the roof and check our neighbours but stay low and keep quiet.  Go. Quickly.” Mirza grabbed his son’s shoulders and looked deeply at him. “Be careful.”Abdullah slipped out of the door. Everyone listened to the silence. Kaka Ghulam’s beads clattered noisily in the stillness. His prayers were comforting while they awaited Abdullah’s return.When he did, Abdullah’s face said more than his words could tell. He looked at his younger sister and brother and said what little he could that would not frighten them further. “Our home was not hit. We lost the wall on the south side but the animals are still safe.”“And the rest of the village?” asked Haleema, her eyes wide with fear. “I’m sorry, Mother, there’s so much smoke, I can’t see much,” he said, sadly.“We must leave,” stated Mirza. “ We must go today, now. Tonight we might not be so lucky.”Jameela jumped to her feet. “No! I don’t want to go! I won’t go! Please let us stay here, Daddy, please! We will be safe here. They will fight somewhere else tonight. Please Daddy!”“Jameela, stop! Listen to your father.” Haleema hugged her daughter. “ He is right, we could go to Uncle Ali and Auntie Aisha in the city. We will be safe there.” Jameela cried in her mother’s arms.“That is true, Haleema,” added Kaka Ghulam. “ Mirza, the family must leave today. There is no time to waste.” Kaka Ghulam nodded sadly. “For nearly sixty years I have lived here. I have prayed and prayed that through all the wars, we would be safe here. We are blessed to be alive this morning. There must be a reason that we were spared. We must follow the path and opportunity offered to us. Fatima,” he said, turning to his young daughter-in-law, “please, prepare food for the journey." Fatima sat silently, not moving.  “Fatima!” shouted Haleema, “ Get the food ready!”“I can’t go. I can’t leave,” wailed Fatima. “This home has all my memories of Yunus. It is where he lived and where he died. If I leave I am afraid, that I will forget him.”  Fatima collapsed on the floor, sobbing.  “Everyone, stop your crying!” screamed Abdullah. “Most of the houses in the village are destroyed. Do you want to stay and die or leave here and live? I am leaving!” Abdullah gathered his blanket and clothes.  “ Fatima, you will go. Get the food ready,” said Haleema as she quickly gathered necessities for the journey. “Abdullah, get the donkey” ordered Mirza.Haleema helped Jameela and Ahmed by grabbing what she could. Mirza and Kaka Ghulam discussed the safest route to take. Bibi Jan gathered the photographs from the walls and placed them in a row on the floor. She sat down and quietly wept. Everyone was too busy to notice her weeping. Abdullah and Haleema loaded the donkey, placing Ahmed on top. Today he has too tired and frightened to enjoy the ride. He curled up and fell asleep just as the sun rose above the eastern hills.In minutes everyone was gathered at the door. Fatima stood rigidly unable to cross the threshold. Jameela knew she must help her aunt leave with the family.“Auntie Fatima,” pleaded Jameela, holding her hands, “ you must come with us. Who will teach me reading and writing? You said I was doing so well. Who will sing songs with me and help me with my garden? Oh! My garden! How can I leave my garden?” Jameela’s crying started anew.Fatima hugged the little girl. “It seems that we all must leave behind things that we care for and love. At least, I can take my memories with me. I promise to find you some new seeds in the city so that when we return we can grow a wonderful new garden,” Jameela and Fatima hugged each other through their tears.“We have no time for this!” shouted Mirza. “We need to travel far from here before nightfall. We may not be able to take the main roads. We may have to travel cross-country. I will not be able to keep up very well on these crutches- so let’s get moving!” Mirza looked at his only leg and then to his run son sleeping on the donkey. “I may need to ride sometimes so we can move faster,” he said shamefully, shaking his head.“Ahmed will run along beside once he has slept,” said Haleema, reassuring her husband. “Now, let’s go! Quickly! Wait! Where is Bibi Jan?”The family ran back inside to find Bibi Jan still weeping on the floor surrounded by photographs. They were shocked to see their strong and wise Bibi crying on the floor.“ Bibi Jan,” said Kaka Ghulam gently, “we must go now.”“I can’t leave my home,” sobbed Bibi Jan. “I have lived here for fifty years. I’ve given birth to all my children here in this house.” She picked up a picture of Yunus. “And I have buried my son here. I can’t go and leave my home unprotected from strangers and looters.” She hugged the photo.“We will hide all the photos and anything else that we want saved in the animals’ stall, under the hay. No one will look there. Here, Bibi Jan, put them in this suitcase. They will be safe,” said Haleema. “Fatima, do you want to put your wedding photos in here, too?” Fatima and Bibi Jan quietly placed all they could fit into the case. Abdullah took the suitcase to hide under the house.“We will come back soon, as soon as the fighting is over,” Kaka Ghulam consoled. “But you must come with the family. You can’t stay here alone. Everyone else is leaving the village.”“Bibi, please, please don’t stay here, we need you, I need you,” begged Jameela.“Mother, you will come, and come now. We can’t argue. We are wasting time.” Mirza took his mother’s arm and urged he toward the door.“No! I won’t go! I won’t leave my home!” Bibi Jan stood strongly in the door, holding the frame. Her face showed her fear. “ I am afraid of what will happen. You will travel faster with me. My legs are weak.”Haleema took Bibi Jan’s other arm. “We need your strong heart and we will help your weak legs. You can ride on the donkey when Mirza walks.” Haleema looked around. “Where is the donkey?” asked Haleema. “It has Ahmed!”The family turned to see the donkey, trotting off down the road, with Ahmed still sound asleep on top. Abdullah, Fatima and Haleema ran to catch up with them.“You see, Bibi, the donkey, who never takes a step when you want him to, has the good sense to get away from here,” smiled Kaka Ghulam.Jameela pulled gently at her grandmother’s hand. “Remember you said that I could hold your hand whenever I have a nightmare, and you will tell me that you love me and that everything will be all right? How can you keep this promise to me if you stay here?  Bibi Jan, I love you. Everything is going to be all right.”As she spoke, Bibi Jan slowly stepped out of the house and walked with her husband and son toward the gate.  Jameela gently tugged her hand. “Everything’s going to be all right

 

Story 7  (A New Friend)

Written by: Mary-Jo Land; Dr. Joanna Santa Barbara ; Dr. Graeme MacQueen; Kevin Arthur Land Context and cultural information: Dr. Seddiq Weera                  Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land Poject Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and Dr. Graeme MacQueen Centre for Peace Studies McMaster University Hamilton, Ontario, Canada

Story Synopsis: Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.

In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close.  

“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role in the as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.

Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her father’s injury, as well finding a positive means of expression of grief for Yunus for Fatima.

Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up inside “Mirza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the yearning in him to be that way again.

The innocence of children once again plays a role in helping an adult deal with loss in “Yunus’ Song”. Jameela and Ahmed are playing ball when they notice that Fatima is crying for her dead husband. Ahmed tries to make her laugh by putting a pot on his head banging it, with some success. The story ends with Fatima singing a song her husband used to sing to keep his memory alive.

When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.

In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Mirza’s while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city. While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or their beliefs.

Therapeutic Elements:

Healing images and symbols: laughter, sharing food and shelter with others

Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: hospitality, generosity and kindness to those in need, courage to try a new language, friendship, acceptance, humour

Problem Issues: sorrow, loss of home and property, respect for diversity

Healing Strategies: understanding and respecting diversity, giving and receiving

A New Friend

Ahmad, Jameela, Abdullah and her family were fleeing the bombing of their village, heading for the safety of the city. They had been walking all day, resting occasionally for young Ahmed, for Their  grandparents, Bibi Jan and Kaka Ghulam, and for their father, Mirza, whose journey on crutches was especially painful.

Everyone was dusty, thirsty and very tired. Their sorrow at leaving their home lay underneath  their weariness.  Mirza said, "We're coming to a village very soon. I can see the top of the mosque between the hills. In that village there's a man I know. I've traded young donkeys and tools with him over the years. Amin is his name. I'll  ask him if he can help us."   A little more tired trudging brought them to the gate of Amin's house. Amin opened the door.  "Old friend! What brings you here?" His smiling glance took in the exhausted family, which gave him the answer to his question. Amin saw more - that his friend had lost his leg and was on crutches. The smile left his face.   “A landmine," said Mirza. "I lost my brother."  "I hear the war is on the doorstep of your village," said Amin.  "More than on the doorstep," said Mirza grimly." A lot of the village is destroyed. We had to leave. Everyone has left. That's why we're here."  "Come in, come in, friends. You are welcome here. Our house is your house." Amin ushered them all through the door, taking all the bundles he could carry. Then he spoke to his wife and children, who shyly came out of the house into the courtyard.   Abdullah, Jameela and Ahmed were puzzled that they couldn't understand what he said. He seemed to be speaking another language. And everyone in the family was wearing clothing that looked strange to the children's eyes. They had never seen people dressed like this before. Saida, Amin's wife, began cooking some food, and even the cooking smelled a little different.

The tired and puzzled children sat on the ground in the yard. One of Amin's children brought  Bibi Jan a striped kilim  and she sat beside them.  "Children, Amin's family and this whole village speak a different language from ours. Afghanistan has people with several languages. Ours isn't the only one. Amin and Saida are very good , kind people. We look different to them too, you know." The children smiled at that thought. To themselves they looked and sounded completely ordinary, the way they thought everyone was, until today. But if they thought of how they looked in the eyes of Amin's family, they appeared strange and unusual. It was a weird thought. Perhaps that was why Amin's children were staring at them, wide-eyed, from the shadows.

Bibi spoke again. "Even though we seem different from them, they know so well that we feel tired, hungry and thirsty and sad, the way any person does who has to go on such a sad journey. They've brought us water and they're cooking us food. This is what it is to be a good citizen - always hospitable to others, no matter if they have different clothes or language or religion."

"Are there different religions, Bibi?" asked Jameela.  “Yes, dear, and the Prophet told us that we must be hospitable and good to people of other religions too. Every human being can feel tired, hungry and sad. Everyone has the same feelings in their heart."  "Bibi," said Jameela, "I think Saida has the food ready."  Everyone in the two families sat around the food, but only the visitors ate. As the meal was served, one of Amin's older daughters, with a big smile, pointed to the different foods and said the name in her language. Abdullah And Jameela were too embarrassed to try to say the strange words, but Ahmed tried every single one. Of course, he made many mistakes, which made Amin's family laugh a lot. That made Mirza's family laugh too. No one laughed harder than Ahmed, who had tears of laughter running down his cheeks.  But within minutes, Ahmed was asleep, curled up in the seated circle, without even finishing his food. The other children were ready to sleep as soon as they were shown a spot on the floor.

In the morning, Mirza's family bundled their things together again and got ready to leave.  "Here is some food for your journey," said Saida, handing them some parcels of bread and cheese.  Mirza bowed in gratitude. He knew Amin and Saida had little to live on themselves. Then they brought out two pairs of shoes for Jameela and Ahmed, and some sheep's wool to make Mirza's crutches more comfortable.  "I can't find words to thank you for your kindness," Mirza said.  "May Allah bless your journey." Amin and Saida stood at the door to farewell them.  That afternoon, after many hours of travel, Bibi Jan observed Abdullah and Jameela having a disagreement while waiting for the bus to the displaced person’s camp. She intended to ask one of them what it was about when the got to the camp, but over the course of the three-hour bus trip it slipped her mind. When the family reached the camp, they lined up to register and were assigned a space in the very crowded, former school. The place was noisy and confusing and they were all exhausted; they could barely unpack their quilts before they fell asleep.  Kaka Ghulam found that the camp had a classroom for boys. Mirza told Abdullah that he should go. Most of the boys in the class were from villages in Abdullah’s area and spoke the same language as Abdullah. But a few were different. The other boys were teasing them and even pushing them when they tried to take their place on the classroom benches. Abdullah watched this, but did nothing. That night, as the family ate together, he told them about his day in the classroom.

"Some of the kids have really weird clothes. Their hats are like mushrooms. Boy, do they ever look like dopes."  Mirza spoke sharply to his son. " Abdullah, people in this family, even when things are very difficult, do not look down on others. It isn't important that they are wearing different clothes. They have the same human heart under the clothes. I never want to hear that you are making life harder for someone who is different."  Bibi Jan said, "Let's remember the kindness of Amin and Saida. In their eyes, we were the ones who looked different. Yet they treated us like brothers and sisters." As remembered the kind family in the village that had passed through, he realized that the few different boys at school probably came from the same language group as they did.  Kaka Ghulam's deep voice boomed out, "The Prophet said.............."  The next day at school, Abdullah smiled at the different boys and sat next to one of them in class. When they went to get a drink of water, Abdullah remembered a word that Saida was trying to teach Ahmed. He said what he hoped was the word for water in the other language, praying that he wasn't making all Ahmed's funny mistakes. The other boy's face lit up and he spoke back to him in that language.  Abdullah laughed and shook his head. "That's all I have, just that one word. I'm lost after that," he said.

"That's OK," said the other boy. " I can speak your language fine. I just didn't want to because the others were making fun of my accent."  The two boys became friends.  Abdullah began to learn  the other language from his new friend. His parents were pleased about this. "It's very good to know several languages," they said. "It will always help you in your life. It just goes to show us that even out of very bad circumstances, some good things can grow."

 

Story 8 (Reconciliation)

Written by: Dr. Joanna Santa Barbara; Mary-Jo Land; Kevin Arthur Land; Dr. Graeme MacQueen   Context and cultural information: Dr. Seddiq Weera Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land Poject Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and Dr. Graeme MacQueen Centre for Peace Studies McMaster University Hamilton, Ontario, Canada

Story Synopsis: Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.

In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close.  

“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role in the as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.

Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her father’s injury, as well finding a positive means of expression of grief for Yunus for Fatima.

Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up inside “Mirza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the yearning in him to be that way again.

The innocence of children once again plays a role in helping an adult deal with loss in “Yunus’ Song”. Jameela and Ahmed are playing ball when they notice that Fatima is crying for her dead husband. Ahmed tries to make her laugh by putting a pot on his head banging it, with some success. The story ends with Fatima singing a song her husband used to sing to keep his memory alive.

When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.

In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Mirza’s while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city. While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or their beliefs.

As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to be  “Reconciliation”.

Therapeutic Elements:

Healing images and symbols: restoring harmony

Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: cooperation, listening, being non-judgmental, giving, empathy

Problem Issues: anger, taking anger out on another person, hostility in a relationship, holding a grudge, stubbornness, shame

Healing Strategies: helping a person empathize with the person that he or she has wronged, mediating reconciliation, apologizing, asking for and granting forgiveness, compensating for wrong-doing

Reconciliation

Huddled on the floor in a corner of the classroom that was now a temporary home for eleven families, Abdullah could not sleep. The events of the day swirled around him like angry ghosts. In the darkness, he could not tell if anyone else in his family was still awake, but if anyone deserved to be, it was Jameela. She had treated him like a leper since the day they arrived, and he knew why. But he was not to blame for what happened. In many ways, he was now a man in the family and he would have to make some difficult decisions that that required, even if it meant feeling the wrath of his little sister. It all started three days ago. The sky was gray, so the heat was bearable. The dusty road stretched through an area of low trees and bushes. Ahead trudged Jameela. She was carrying heavy bundles for a ten-year-old. Her shawl was wrapped around her shoulders. Her head was bent over and she seemed to be murmuring something into her shawl. "Maybe she's gone mad with the stress," thought Abdullah. He drew closer behind her, silently.

 "How's it going, little kitty?" he heard her saying. "You OK in there? Don't worry; we'll soon be there. Everything will be all right."

"What on earth have you got in there?" Abdullah's loud voice made Jameela jump.

"Nothing," she said.

"Oh sure," he said. "You talk to your shawl just to pass the time. Did you bring that stupid kitten?"

"It isn't stupid, and yes, I did bring it. You know how Ahmed loves it. And I love it. And it'd probably die if we left it behind. Leave me alone."

"It'll probably die if it comes with us, or someone will eat it. Get it through your head, girl. We're refugees, displaced persons. We're not going on a nice holiday." Abdullah snatched the kitten out of Jameela's shawl, ran off the road into the bushes, and threw it into the undergrowth.

What was he to do? These were dangerous times and this was no place for a kitten.

A few feet away, also unable to sleep, Jameela felt very much alone. She was still very angry with Abdullah, and she could not look at him without feeling her temper flare. She did not like this feeling. She would much rather get along with everyone. It would be nice to forgive him, but he was simply too mean to be forgiven. It was one thing to throw the kitten into the bushes, but what Abdullah did after just made matters worse.

Jameela remembered that she had put down her bundle and run to find the kitten. Abdullah had blocked her. She had run at Abdullah and he had pushed her over into the dirt. Jameela sobbed. Daddy had shouted at them, telling them to hurry or they'd miss the bus. He had told Jameela to stop crying; there was no time for that nonsense now.

Jameela remembered saying to Abdullah, "I hate you. I wish you were dead." and vowing to herself that she would never speak to Abdullah again. She would not regard him as her brother.

Yesterday, Jameela helped the family to settle in. She did everything asked of her and answered when spoken to except when Abdullah spoke to her. She acted as if Abdullah didn't exist. When she and Abdullah were told to carry a heavy trunk together, she did, but refused to look at him. Jameela kept this up all day. Most of the adults were too busy to notice, although everyone lived very close together in their very small space. But Bibi Jan noticed. She took Jameela outside the building to a spot under a tree.

"What's wrong, my little Jameela?"  "Nothing, Bibi. What do you mean?"   "Just that you're not talking to Abdullah. Something isn't right between you."

"Oh, Bibi, he killed my kitten. Well, it's Ahmed's kitten. He doesn't know about this. I hate Abdullah. I don't want him for a brother."

"Jameela, Jameela, they're strong words. Tell me just what happened."  Bibi Jan listened   carefully. "Hmmmm, that certainly was a serious wrong," she said when Jameela had finished. "I'll talk to Abdullah about this. I promise."

The next day, Bibi Jan took Abdullah out to sit under the same tree. She asked Abdullah to tell her what happened about the kitten.

Jameela is so stupid, she thought she could keep a kitten in a place like this."

“Was it your business to decide whether that kitten should live or die?" asked Bibi Jan.  "Well, no. I guess not."  “Do you have any idea how your sister is feeling?"  "Pretty angry with me, I guess. "

 “Yes, and very sad too. She's a tenderhearted girl, Abdullah. I want you to understand that. She loved that little kitten and helped Ahmed to care for it. She's very, very upset.  Abdullah was silent.

"What got into you, Abdullah, to do such a thing?"  “I don't know, Bibi. I was angry and sad about leaving home. I felt as if I was losing everything, all the things I cared about at home. And then I saw Jameela. She had something she cared about from home. I was jealous." Abdullah paused a long time. "I shouldn't have done it." "No, you shouldn't have. Any ideas about what you can do about this?" "I don't know. I do love her, I guess, as a sister. And now she hates me."

  "Well, it's up to you to do something about reconciling. First you should apologize. Can you do that?"  "I guess," Abdullah gave a tight smile. "It isn't easy, to a sister."  "No, but if you want a loving relationship, you have to. Then you have to ask her to forgive you. Can you do that?"  "That too?   Ok. Anything else?"

 “Then you should try to find a gift to compensate a little for the loss you caused. You probably can't make it up completely; because that was a particular little kitten she loved. But you can do your best." "Sounds fair enough," said Abdullah. "I'll try, Bibi." 

Later, Abdullah showed Bibi Jan a story- book he had got from an aid organization in the camp. It was about right for Jameela's reading level, or perhaps a little above. It had been carefully chosen. "What should I do now, Bibi?" he asked. "Just give it to her."

"No, she might throw it back at you. You two have some talking to do first. You go to our tree and I'll get Jameela."

Jameela was reluctant to come with her grandmother. She said she was never going to talk to Abdullah again, and it was no use trying to make her. "You don't have to talk," Bibi Jan said, "Just listen." Bibi Jan sat them down either side of her. Jameela wouldn't look at Abdullah.

"Abdullah, you have things you want to say to Jameela, so you can start."  "I don't want to listen to that person, whatever he might say," said Jameela, looking in the opposite direction from Abdullah. "Jameela, listen," said Bibi Jan.  "Well, Jameela, on that day, I was feeling really lousy and angry and sad..."

  Jameela said coolly to her grandmother, "Please tell that person that I don't care how he was feeling. He is nothing to me."  Then she turned suddenly and faced Abdullah and yelled, "You killed my kitten."   "Well, I didn't really kill it. It might be still alive. And after all it couldn't have lived in this place."

"Abdullah, are you listening to your sister or are you making excuses for yourself?" said Bibi Jan.

    "Jameela, what I did was wrong, and I'm truly sorry," said Abdullah.

    "You are? You never, ever apologized to me for anything before. Are you really sorry?"

    "I'm really, truly sorry. I wish I hadn't done it. I realize it hurt you very much, and I don't really want to hurt my sister."

    "Thanks, Abdullah. I'd decided you had no feelings at all, but you do. Thanks for apologizing."

    "Will you forgive me?"

    "Sure, and I should apologize to you for saying some pretty bad things to you."

    "That's OK. I understand why you did. I got something for you as part of saying I want to make up, and I want us to be brother and sister again. Here." Abdullah got out the storybook and gave it to Jameela.

    "Oh, Abdullah, it's great. I love it. You definitely do have feelings.  I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad you're my brother." She ran and gave Abdullah a hug.

    Bibi Jan spoke. "Here, you two. Help an old woman to her feet. I've had enough of sitting on the ground. Time for a cup of tea."

 

Story 9  (Mirza’s Anger)

Story Synopsis: Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close.   “The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role in the as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears. Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her father’s injury, as well finding a positive means of expression of grief for Yunus for Fatima.

Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up inside “Mirza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the yearning in him to be that way again.The innocence of children once again plays a role in helping an adult deal with loss in “Yunus’ Song”. Jameela and Ahmed are playing ball when they notice that Fatima is crying for her dead husband. Ahmed tries to make her laugh by putting a pot on his head banging it, with some success. The story ends with Fatima singing a song her husband used to sing to keep his memory alive.When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Mirza’s while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city. While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or their beliefs. As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to be  “Reconciliation”.In “Mirza’s Anger”, Mirza’s loss of control over his temper has given cause for fear to both Jameela and Ahmed. The emotional upheaval wreaks havoc on both children, and causes them to be short with each other. While hiding, Ahmed overhears his father talking to Bibi Jan about his own insecurity regarding the loss of his leg. When the child is discovered, it becomes an opportunity for bridges to be mended between father and son.Therapeutic Elements: Healing images and symbols: hugging, giving, playfulnessModeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: listening, supporting others, cooperation, helpfulness,Problem Issues: taking anger out on others, the effects of anger on children, fear, loss of self-respect and identity, shame

Healing Strategies: talking about anger, exposing assumptions and clarifying misunderstandings, hugging and talking to children about difficulties, making gifts for others

Mirza’s Anger

 Jameela and Ahmed were becoming afraid of their father. He had always been a kind and gentle man but since losing his leg in the landmine accident, he had been different. Now he had to use crutches and it bothered him that he could no longer work as he used to do. Now that the family had left their village and were in a displaced persons' camp, Mirza, had nothing to do. He went to the makeshift mosque to pray or he sat at home, and very often he criticized their mother, Haleema, or themselves as they went about their chores in their small family space in the camp. When he shouted at Ahmed, the little boy felt it was all his fault, and that he really was a bad child.

 Little things could send their father into a rage. He shouted at them. He banged his crutch on the floor or on the table. It was very frightening.

Ahmed could hear him yelling at their mother and banging. It made him feel terrible - angry, sad, worried, frightened, all mixed up together. He wanted to do something but there was nothing he could do. Jameela came to him."Come on, Ahmed, out to the wash-house. Mama told me I had to give you a wash.""No. Go away," said Ahmed."Hey, little brother, Mama says. So we have to. Come on. It won't take long."Ahmed yelled and kicked a trunk. "Go away, go away, go away, stupid sister!" He moved away from Jameela. She reached out to grab him. He hit her and ran away, out of the building. While she was searching for him outside, he slipped back in and hid behind some boxes in their family’s corner of the room.Bibi Jan and their father came in. Ahmed held himself still and quiet as a little mouse."Mirza, I asked you to come in here because I wanted to talk to you privately.""What is it, Mother?""I know you're suffering terribly. I wish I could take away the trials that have come upon you and the family. Sometimes I see you beginning to rise above your sadness and sometimes you're sinking under again. But I see you taking it out on Haleema and the children, and that is adding to their suffering. I notice the children are frightened of you. They try to keep out of your way.""Oh Mother, I thought it was because they don't respect me any more - a one-legged father.""Mirza, respect isn't about how many legs you have. I think they're missing the gentle father they used to have... who, after all, is still there beneath the anger.""Mother, you can't imagine how angry I feel sometimes. Why me? Why my children? How am I going to take care of them now?""Can I not imagine it?" said Bibi Jan, with a piercing look at her son. "As for your questions, there is no answer. Who knows how or why Allah disposes His trials? It is for us to submit, accept and move on with life. We'll find a way to take care of the children. First you must take care of your anger and sadness. To help the children, we must heal the father."Mirza gave a glimmer of a smile. "How did such a wise mother get such a foolish son?""Mirza, Mirza," Bibi Jan embraced him. "You are a wonderful son, and I think soon you'll remember that the world still has joy in it."Ahmed was feeling cramped, behind the boxes. He wriggled a little, knocking over a cooking pot. His father and grandmother looked behind the boxes and saw him curled up." Ahmed! What are you doing?"“Hiding from Jameela.""You heard what we said?"Ahmed nodded.His father beckoned him to come and sit on his knee. "Ahmed, you know Papa has been pretty bad-tempered recently?"Ahmed nodded."Well, it's because I was so sad and angry and worried about all the bad things that have happened.""Me too, Papa.""You too?"Ahmed nodded."Well, you know just how I was feeling then."Ahmed nodded."And when I yelled at Mama and you children, it wasn't because you were bad, but just that I've been feeling so bad.""Me too, Papa.""I think we understand each other, Ahmed, you and I." Ahmed felt warm and relaxed, safe in his father's arms. "So! No more bad temper then, not from me and not from you, eh?""I love you, Papa."Jameela ran in, looking worried. "Oh Ahmed, I've been looking for you everywhere." She stopped, startled to see Ahmed on her father's lap. Her father put out one arm to enclose her too. Jameela giggled at the close father-Ahmed-Jameela hug. "Papa, I'm supposed to be washing him. Mama told me. Please, Ahmed."Ahmed couldn't imagine why he had made such a fuss with his sister before. He really enjoyed her washing him. Usually they played and she got wet too.

Mirza wanted to do something for his children. He remembered a wooden dancing man on a string he had had as a child. He had his tools with him, and he found a small piece of wood. He cut it to make the man's head, body and arms. There was just enough for one leg only. "Ah well," thought Mirza. "We will have a one-legged dancing man."

Story 10  (Making Peace)

Story Synopsis: Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close.   “The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role in the as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears. Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her father’s injury, as well finding a positive means of expression of grief for Yunus for Fatima.

Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up inside “Mirza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the yearning in him to be that way again.The innocence of children once again plays a role in helping an adult deal with loss in “Yunus’ Song”. Jameela and Ahmed are playing ball when they notice that Fatima is crying for her dead husband. Ahmed tries to make her laugh by putting a pot on his head banging it, with some success. The story ends with Fatima singing a song her husband used to sing to keep his memory alive.When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Mirza’s while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city. While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or their beliefs. As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to be  “Reconciliation”.In “Mirza’s Anger”, Mirza’s loss of control over his temper has given cause for fear to both Jameela and Ahmed. The emotional upheaval wreaks havoc on both children, and causes them to be short with each other. While hiding, Ahmed overhears his father talking to Bibi Jan about his own insecurity regarding the loss of his leg. When the child is discovered, it becomes an opportunity for bridges to be mended between father and son.Bibi Jan’s diplomatic skills are once again put to the test in “Making Peace”. While looking for Mirza’s brother Ali and his wife Aisha in the city, the family is staying at a camp for displaced persons located in an old schoolhouse. While in the cramped quarters they must make their temporary home, Abdullah gets into a fight with a boy his own age over the intrusion of his bicycle in the others’ living space.Therapeutic Elements:   Healing images and symbols: cohesive community and restoration of harmonyModeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions:  patience, understanding, willingness to delay resolution until everyone is more calm, peace making, empathy, listening, openness, creativity, humour, sharing, cooperationProblem Issues: conflict, anger, violenceHealing Strategies:  food and drink to ease a difficult interaction, the steps of conflict resolution  

Making Peace

The family was beginning to work out how to live day by day in the displaced persons' camp. New people came into the camp and some people left. One man had to go to another city by bus and left Abdullah his old bike. The trouble was in finding a place to put it. Space was very cramped. The only place Abdullah could find was between his family's space in the former school building and the next family's space.  It stuck out a bit into the next family's space but Abdullah was worried it would be stolen if he left it outside the building

 Omar, the boy who lived in the next space, was a few years older than Abdullah. Omar kept shoving the bike aside roughly when he needed to get through the narrow passage. One morning Abdullah found that some spokes were bent and broken. He went and shouted at Omar."You clumsy idiot! You've broken my bike. Can't you take care of your own big feet?"Omar stood up. "Who are you calling an idiot, boy? Your bike shouldn't be there in the first place. We don't need a damn bike cluttering up this place. Get it out." Omar pulled the bike out of its corner."Don't you lay a finger on my bike." Abdullah shoved Omar away from the bike."Or what, little boy? I'm going to throw that bike out." Omar grabbed the bike again. Abdullah punched his shoulder. The two boys started fighting seriously, grappling and falling to the floor, knocking over boxes and bundles nearby.  Mirza and Bibi Jan approached the struggling boys.Mirza, on his crutches, got between them. "Stop this immediately, Abdullah and Omar. It's time for school. You're nearly late. Get going right now."Bibi Jan said, "Abdullah and Omar, we don't want this to continue. We're living in each other's pockets. We have to find ways to do it in harmony. I want to see you both here after school to work this out. We'll have some tea and I might even find a few pieces of dried fruit."After school that day, Abdullah and Omar came to Bibi Jan, who already had the tea ready. Mirza was sipping his cup. Bibi Jan offered them a little dish of the precious dried fruits she had brought from home. Abdullah's little sister and brother, Jameela and Ahmed were curious about what was happening and had squeezed themselves into a corner, hoping no one would notice them.Mirza spoke first. "Abdullah and Omar, there is too much violence - here in our camp, in our country and in the world. We must not add to it. Violence is a stupid way to solve problems. Abdullah, if you knock Omar to the ground, does it mean you're right in this conflict? Omar, if you make Abdullah give in, does it solve your problem? What foolishness! There are much better ways to solve conflicts. Bibi Jan and I will help you with this one."The boys sipped their tea quietly.Bibi Jan began. "Now first of all, what is the problem?"Both boys started together, each pointing their finger at the other."One at a time," said Bibi Jan. "Each of you will get a chance. Omar, you start."Omar sat up and glared at Abdullah. "He...."Bibi Jan interrupted. "Omar, can you start with saying 'I'? Tell us exactly what is the problem for you."Omar hesitated and thought hard. He wasn't sure what Bibi Jan meant. "I...feel upset when I see that bike sticking out into our space. We have so little room. That bike gets in my way when I want to move around. Abdullah didn't even ask if he could put it there."Abdullah said quickly, "I was going to ask...."Bibi Jan said, "Abdullah, don't interrupt. You'll get your chance to say all you want to say." She turned to Omar. "And what do you want, Omar?"“I want that bike out of the way."Bibi Jan turned to Abdullah. "Now, Abdullah, tell me in your own words what is the problem for Omar."Abdullah looked annoyed. "For Omar?" he said. "I thought you said I could tell my side of the story.""You can," said Bibi Jan. "But first I want to know if you've really understood Omar's side. Go ahead."Grudgingly at first, Abdullah described what was the problem for Omar. As he described it, he understood it a little better.Bibi Jan said, "That's helpful, Abdullah. Now tell us your side of the problem."Eager to get his words in, Abdullah said, "Well, he...."Bibi Jan said, "No, Abdullah, remember, start with 'I', and tell us what you feel about what happened, and what you want."Abdullah paused to work out how to put it. He said, "I felt very angry when I saw the spokes of my bike broken. I just want to be able to put my bike somewhere safe and not have it stolen or damaged.""Omar, tell us, in your own words, what is Abdullah's problem."Omar did his best.Bibi Jan said, "Now that we understand the problem, we have to come up with lots of ideas for solutions."Abdullah said, "It's obvious. Omar has to watch where he puts his feet and be careful of other people's things."Bibi Jan said, "Abdullah, there isn't just one solution to a problem. There are many. We have to think of lots of ways to deal with this one and then choose the best one. OK, you've thought of one. Now, let's hear some more.""He could keep the bike outside," said Omar."No," said Abdullah. "It'll get stolen.""Abdullah, we'll save comments on the solutions for later. Right now, we just want lots of ideas. The more, the better.""He could store it on the moon," said a little voice from the corner of the room. Everyone turned and saw Ahmed and Jameela. They laughed at Ahmed's solution."Don't be stupid, Ahmed," said Abdullah, smiling."No, let him try," said Bibi Jan. "The more ideas, the better. Sometimes an idea that seems silly sparks another really workable idea. More ideas, please."Jameela offered, "He could get a rope and hoist it up to the ceiling each night."Omar said, "What about keeping it outside with a lock on it?""Well, I might if I had a lock," said Abdullah, "But I don't. Besides, at night, someone could walk away with the whole thing, lock and all.""Well," said Omar. "How about storing it outside, locked, in the day, when we're all moving around here. At night you could bring it in and keep it in the same place as now.""Good idea," said Abdullah. "But I told you, I don't have a lock.""I have a padlock I'm not using," said Omar, "But I don't have a chain."Mirza said, "I 'll give you a little money to buy a chain, Abdullah. It won't cost much."It sank in on Abdullah that Omar, the boy he'd begun to fight with, was offering to lend him a padlock. "Gee, thanks for that offer, Omar. Would you want a loan of the bike sometimes?""Sure, I would," grinned Omar. "I'd love it. I used to have one, before we had to leave our village.""There's one last thing we should speak about, boys," said Mirza, "And that is, could we have prevented this problem in the first place?"Both fell silent. "I don't know, Papa," said Abdullah."What if you'd discussed the problem with Omar before putting your bike in that place?"Very thoughtfully, Abdullah nodded.Grandfather Kaka Ghulam had slipped quietly into the room and sat, running his fingers over his beads. "The Prophet says............................."

 

Story 11 (Abdullah and the Ten-Foot Man)

Story Synopsis: Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close. “The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role in the as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears. Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her father’s injury, as well finding a positive means of expression of grief for Yunus for Fatima.

Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up inside “Mirza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the yearning in him to be that way again.The innocence of children once again plays a role in helping an adult deal with loss in “Yunus’ Song”. Jameela and Ahmed are playing ball when they notice that Fatima is crying for her dead husband. Ahmed tries to make her laugh by putting a pot on his head banging it, with some success. The story ends with Fatima singing a song her husband used to sing to keep his memory alive.When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Mirza’s while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city. While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or their beliefs. As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to be  “Reconciliation”.In “Mirza’s Anger”, Mirza’s loss of control over his temper has given cause for fear to both Jameela and Ahmed. The emotional upheaval wreaks havoc on both children, and causes them to be short with each other. While hiding, Ahmed overhears his father talking to Bibi Jan about his own insecurity regarding the loss of his leg. When the child is discovered, it becomes an opportunity for bridges to be mended between father and son.Bibi Jan’s diplomatic skills are once again put to the test in “Making Peace”. While looking for Mirza’s brother Ali and his wife Aisha in the city, the family is staying at a camp for displaced persons located in an old schoolhouse. While in the cramped quarters they must make their temporary home, Abdullah gets into a fight with a boy his own age over the intrusion of his bicycle in the others’ living space.As “Abdullah and the Ten-foot Soldier” opens, Abdullah, now living with his family at his uncle’s house for a week, comes down with a fever. He recalls his childhood dreams about wanting to grow up to be a soldier before he falls asleep. He dreams about meeting a giant soldier in the market who teaches him a lesson about the reality of war.Therapeutic Elements:   Healing images and symbols: comforting and caringModeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: caring for the sick, recognizing and praising virtuous behaviourProblem Issues: sickness, idealization of warHealing Strategies: condemnation of violence, teaching the value of peaceful living

Abdullah and the Ten Foot Man

“Stay in bed and rest,” said Mirza, gently stroking his son’s forehead.Abdullah lay with his head on his pillow looking at his father. He felt as heavy as a stone. His family had been living in the city at his uncle’s house for only one week and here he was, so sick he couldn’t move. He should be finding a job! Instead, here he was. The women would have to take care of him. As if they didn’t have enough to do already!“We need you to get well, Abdullah,” Mirza said. “Your search for Uncle Ali and Auntie Aisha was successful except that you also found this illness. We would never have been able to leave that camp if not for you.  We are all very grateful but now you must rest and heal.Abdullah gave in. He felt his body burning with fever. He watched Mirza leave the room, leaning on his crutches. Mirza had told his family he would find work today, but Abdullah couldn’t imagine what work there would be for a man with one leg.Abdullah stared at the ceiling all morning. Sometimes he was asleep and sometimes he was awake. His mind was full of memories and pictures. He remembered coming to this city with his father years ago when he was just a little boy. He remembered seeing AK-47s for sale in the street. He remembered a man selling piles of landmines and grenades. Big men in uniforms had stood around the stall looking at the weapons, laughing and talking.When he had returned to his village Abdullah had told everyone he was going to be like those men when he grew up. He would be big and strong with lots of muscles. He would be so tough that when enemies came to his village to hurt people he would fight them. For a long time after that trip to the city Abdullah had longed for a time when he would be able to give up farming and put on a uniform. He would protect the good people and kill the bad people. Abdullah remembered shooting so many men in his dreams.Abdullah’s head was hurting as he remembered these things. It felt as if there was fire in his head, and he was so thirsty!All of a sudden he felt better, and he found himself walking in the sunshine.“Well,” he thought, “I’m glad that’s over! Now that my fever’s gone I can find a job.”Abdullah decided to take a shortcut through the marketplace. But the marketplace seemed very big today. He was surprised how big it was. Now he found himself getting lost!“How do I get out of this market?” he wondered.Abdullah could hear people bargaining over prices. One man kept following him, trying to get him to buy food. Abdullah could smell the smells of the frying food, he could see hides and wool for sale, and he could see all the animals. And what was this? Well, here was a big pile of landmines for sale! How clean and shiny they were! As Abdullah looked at the landmines he felt a shadow pass over him. He looked up and there, blocking out the sunlight, was the biggest man Abdullah had ever seen in his life. He was ten feet tall! He had on a uniform and he looked as if he had fought in many wars. He had a great, curling black beard. His huge arms were folded over his chest. He was looking right at Abdullah and he was frowning.Abdullah was frightened and he began to back away from the man.“Where do you think you’re going?” demanded the man in a deep voice.“Going?” said Abdullah. “Oh, I'm not going anywhere, sir.  I'm just changing position. I'm moving a bit closer to these landmines. I need to look at them. My father told me to buy some good ones.”Abdullah picked up the landmines in his hands, feeling them, looking at them. He pretended he knew what he was doing.“Oh, I can’t fool him!” he thought at last. “I’m just a farm boy. I know how to tell the difference between good fruit and bad fruit but I don’t know the difference between a good landmine and a bad one!”The ten-foot man began to laugh. Then he stopped laughing and began to frown again. He moved closer to Abdullah and pointed a gigantic finger at him.“Have you ever tasted grapes from ShomAli, boy?”“Oh!” said Abdullah, thinking very hard. “Just once, sir.”“Were they good?”“Very good, sir.”“Juicy?”“Very juicy, sir.”“Sweet?”“Extremely sweet, sir.”“Did they blow off your foot when you ate them?” the giant asked, leaning forward.“Blow off my foot, sir?”“A landmine will blow off your foot. Did the grapes from ShomAli blow off your foot?”“No, sir. My foot was in good shape after I ate the grapes.”“Did the grapes from ShomAli kill your sister?” he questioned, intently.“Oh no, sir.”“A landmine will be happy to kill your sister. Did the grapes from ShomAli blow off your brother’s fingers?”“No, sir.”“Make you go blind?”“No, sir.”“Turn you into a man with no legs who begs on the street for money?”“No, sir.”“Murder your best friend? Blow the legs off your uncle's donkey?”“No, sir, no, no. The grapes of ShomAli did none of those things.”“Then you should be very happy with those grapes.” He concluded, straightening up.“Yes, sir.”“A man should be proud to grow such grapes, shouldn't he?”“Yes, sir.”“A man should be proud to grow the things that give life. A man should be proud to build things, to make his people happy. Is it not so?”“Yes, sir.”The ten-foot man looked at the pile of landmines in front of Abdullah. His mouth was pulled down at the corners as if he had tasted something terrible. He spoke again:“A man should get rid of the things that bring death. Is it not true?”“Oh yes, sir!”The ten-foot man suddenly stopped talking. His face seemed pale. He seemed to grow weak. He leaned on the side of a food stall for support. He seemed to grow smaller, and there was a look of pain on his face.Abdullah said:“Are you alright, sir?”The soldier was definitely growing smaller. Now he was almost the same size as Abdullah! He turned to look at Abdullah, and then at last he spoke. He voice sounded like dust.“No, boy. I am not alright.”“But who are you, sir?”“I am the ones who fought.”“What do you mean, sir?”“I am every boy and every man in Afghanistan who took a rifle and fought and died. I am Faisal who left his young wife to fight the enemy. I am Rahim who left university to fight for his country. I am Aslam who gave up growing grapes. I have done brave deeds that the people will remember. I have done evil deeds that I want to forget. I am tired. I am so tired now...”Abdullah began to worry about the man. He looked so pale, so sick, so tired. He was kneeling on the ground. He looked at Abdullah and the sweat glistened on his forehead.“The grapes...the grapes of ShomAli,” the man whispered.Abdullah looked around him. There was the colour and noise of the market, the people arguing, the smell of overripe fruit, the dust. He saw a small thin dog running under a stall with something in its mouth.“The man is asking for grapes. He must be dying of thirst. I must find him some grapes,” thought Abdullah. But when he looked down the man was nowhere to be seen. Abdullah began to run through the market. He began to yell for the man.“Hush now, Abdullah. Everything’s alright.”Whose voice was this? Abdullah looked up and saw his grandmother, Bibi Jan. She was holding a cool, wet cotton cloth on his forehead. Abdullah was lying in his bed.“Where did he go?” asked Abdullah.“Hush, now,” said Bibi Jan. “You’ve been having a dream. The fever is going now. Soon you will be well.”Abdullah lay still in his bed, listening. Later, when his younger sister Jameela came in to change the cloth on his head, he said to her:“I talked to a ten foot man!”Jameela laughed.“Oh, Abdullah! There are no men that big! You are a Very Big Liar!”Abdullah smiled. But still he couldn’t forget his dream.When his father came home Abdullah told him about the dream. Mirza thought for a moment. Then he said:“Ah, yes. I believe I have met that man myself.”“But why did he speak about the grapes of ShomAli?” said Abdullah.“So juicy, so sweet!” answered Mirza. “Why wouldn’t he speak about them?”“Now you've made me want to eat those grapes!” laughed Abdullah, who was very thirsty.“What a good idea!” said Mirza. “If you’re feeling better tomorrow maybe we can go to the market and find some.”So the next day Mirza and Abdullah went to the market, and they found some grapes from ShomAli. And they were delicious. So juicy! So sweet!

 

Story 12 (A New Life)

Story Synopsis: Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close.   “The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role in the as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears. Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her father’s injury, as well finding a positive means of expression of grief for Yunus for Fatima.

Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up inside “Mirza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the yearning in him to be that way again.The innocence of children once again plays a role in helping an adult deal with loss in “Yunus’ Song”. Jameela and Ahmed are playing ball when they notice that Fatima is crying for her dead husband. Ahmed tries to make her laugh by putting a pot on his head banging it, with some success. The story ends with Fatima singing a song her husband used to sing to keep his memory alive.When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Mirza’s while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city. While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or their beliefs. As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to be  “Reconciliation”.In “Mirza’s Anger”, Mirza’s loss of control over his temper has given cause for fear to both Jameela and Ahmed. The emotional upheaval wreaks havoc on both children, and causes them to be short with each other. While hiding, Ahmed overhears his father talking to Bibi Jan about his own insecurity regarding the loss of his leg. When the child is discovered, it becomes an opportunity for bridges to be mended between father and son.Bibi Jan’s diplomatic skills are once again put to the test in “Making Peace”. While looking for Mirza’s brother Ali and his wife Aisha in the city, the family is staying at a camp for displaced persons located in an old schoolhouse. While in the cramped quarters they must make their temporary home, Abdullah gets into a fight with a boy his own age over the intrusion of his bicycle in the others’ living space.As “Abdullah and the Ten-foot Soldier” opens, Abdullah, now living with his family at his uncle’s house for a week, comes down with a fever. He recalls his childhood dreams about wanting to grow up to be a soldier before he falls asleep. He dreams about meeting a giant soldier in the market who teaches him a lesson about the reality of war.In “A New Life”, Jameela expresses her joy at being able to meet Ali and Aisha as helping to offset being away from her home. However, when Haleema tells her that she will soon have a baby sister or brother, Jameela’s anxiety over the instability of their lives takes over. Her mother helps her to understand why this is a blessing for them all.Therapeutic Elements: Healing images and symbols: new life, joy, motherhood, laughter, restored self-esteem, hope for the future, loveModeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: listening, teaching, supporting each other, affectionProblem Issues: the burden on a child when acting as a parent, fear of change, homesicknessHealing Strategies: reframing of trauma, physical comforting and nurturing, expression of fears, restoring kindness and gentleness in relationships.

  A New Life

Jameela found the streets to be very noisy and dirty. Everyone seemed to be in such a hurry and not very friendly. She missed the quiet, gentleness and sweet smells of their farmland and the caring ways of the people of her village. Jameela and Auntie Aisha were doing the daily shopping for fresh vegetables and meat. Every time Jameela picked out tomatoes from the market, she felt proud of the tomatoes she used to grow in her vegetable garden. Her tomatoes were much more delicious looking. Jameela wondered when her family might be able to go back to the village, when she might get back to her vegetable garden.

“Auntie Aisha, do you think that we will ever get to go home again?” Jameela had to speak loudly over the many sounds in the market.“We will have to wait to see if the fighting has stopped around your village,” replied Auntie Aisha. “It seems that you miss your home. If you go back to the farm, I will miss you very much. You are such a wonderful little girl. Someday, I hope to have a little girl like you.”“I am so glad that we came to the city for just one reason,” smiled Jameela. “I was able to meet you, Auntie Aisha. When we go home again, do you think that you could come to visit me and Ahmed and Abdullah?”“Jameela, please, do not get too hopeful about going back home. You do not know what you would find there. Many things might be destroyed by the fighting,” cautioned Auntie Aisha. “Also, Jameela, your father now has his job at the carpet weavers.”“I am so happy that Daddy likes to make carpets. He does not get so angry anymore,” smiled Jameela as they walked toward Auntie Aisha and Uncle Ali’s house. Just then, they saw Auntie Fatima leaving the house.“I wonder where Auntie Fatima is going? She is always going out and I don’t have anyone to teach me my reading lessons. Auntie Aisha, could you teach me? I see that you read magazines, could you teach me to read them, too?” pleaded Jameela as they entered the small compound of their home. Many of the family’s belongings were stacked in the yard. There was no room for these things in the house.“Jameela, I would like very much to teach you to read but now I have to cook the meals for Bibi Jan, Kaka Ghulam, Uncle Ali, your father and brother. Your mother is very tired after the journey from the farm and she did not rest well in the displaced persons’ camp. Auntie Fatima has gone out again so she can not help with the cooking,” sighed Auntie Aisha. She was getting tired, too. It was very difficult to try to feed all of her husband’s family with the same money that she used to feed just her family with. “Please find Ahmed and make sure that he is not bothering your mother.”“Why is my mother so tired? Why does she need to rest all the time? Is she sick?” worried Jameela.“No, no, Jameela,” laughed Auntie Aisha as she began preparing the meal. “Go and ask her yourself.”With that Jameela turned and tiptoed quietly into the room where her mother lay sleeping. Ahmed was asleep beside her. Jameela touched her mother’s hair and thought how peaceful she looked. Haleema opened her eyes and smiled.“My beautiful Jameela. I hope that my next daughter will be as kind and gentle as you.” Haleema stroked Jameela’s hair and held her hand.“What do you mean ‘next daughter’?” asked Jameela. “You have only one daughter and that’s me!”“Jameela, in a few months, you will have a new baby brother or sister,” whispered Haleema.“A baby! Oh, no!” shrieked Jameela as she jumped up and ran from the room.“Jameela!  Jameela! What’s wrong?” she said, trying not to awaken Ahmed. Haleema struggled to her feet and followed Jameela to the yard. She found Jameela sitting behind the piles of things that no longer fit in the house. Jameela was sobbing, her head bent upon her knees.“Jameela, I thought that you would be excited to hear about the new baby,” coaxed Haleema gently as she rubbed Jameela’s shaking back.“How can we have a new baby? We have no home! We have no money! We have barely any food! Everyone is either angry all the time or sad all the time! I try to keep Ahmed safe but I can’t keep a baby safe, too!” cried Jameela. Tears of fear streamed down her face.“My darling Jameela. I am so sorry. I did not know that you felt so frightened. I did not see that you have felt that you needed to keep Ahmed safe. I have been so sad and worried about my problems that I did not see that you have been worried too.”Jameela turned and cried in her mother’s arms.“And yes, I have been angry about many things. I have been frightened about the fighting. I am so tired of all the fighting,” Haleema looked at her sobbing child.“When I was a little girl like you, Jameela, I was so happy. I had so many friends and then I married your Father. He was so kind.Jameela’s crying quieted. She had never heard her mother speak of the days before the war. She could not imagine her mother a young girl, happy and playing with friends.“We were married when we were quite young but we worked hard on the farm and tried to make a good life. Everything changed when the war began.” Haleema ‘s voice faded away. She was remembering the years of fear and sadness.“I wish there was no war,” said Jameela sadly. She put her head in her mother’s lap. Haleema stroked her hair.“Yes, Jameela, so do I. But for every beginning there is an ending and for every ending there is a beginning. Our life on the farm has ended for now and our life in the city has begun. I believe that this new baby can help us see that there are always new beginnings.” Haleema smiled. She looked up to see her husband coming into the yard.Mirza saw his wife and daughter together and paused to admire their closeness. It seemed that it had been a long time since her had seen his wife so peaceful. He waved his crutch and stepped into the house.“You see, Jameela, there is another new beginning. Your father has found a job that makes him proud again. He is going to be a very fine carpet maker,” said Haleema. “Your brother, Abdullah, has decided to learn to be a landmine educator. And so, if we should ever be able to go back to the farm, Father and Abdullah will be able to go to work and we will hire labour for the farm work. Your Grandparents would be very happy to go home again.”Jameela sat up and looked into her mother’s face, wiping away the tears.“Leaving our farm was an ending but coming to the city was a beginning! And Daddy’s new job and Abdullah’s new job, those are beginnings too! If we did not come to the city, they would not have learned these new jobs.   And I finally met Auntie Aisha! I would not have met her if we had stayed in the village. That’s a new beginning too!Jameela jumped to her feet!“And we are going to have a new baby!!!!” she shouted and twirled around, laughing. “That really is a new beginning!”

 

Story 13 (Going Home)

Story Synopsis: Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close.   “The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role in the as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears. Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her father’s injury, as well finding a positive means of expression of grief for Yunus for Fatima.

Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up inside “Mirza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the yearning in him to be that way again.The innocence of children once again plays a role in helping an adult deal with loss in “Yunus’ Song”. Jameela and Ahmed are playing ball when they notice that Fatima is crying for her dead husband. Ahmed tries to make her laugh by putting a pot on his head banging it, with some success. The story ends with Fatima singing a song her husband used to sing to keep his memory alive.When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Mirza’s while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city. While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or their beliefs. As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to be  “Reconciliation”.In “Mirza’s Anger”, Mirza’s loss of control over his temper has given cause for fear to both Jameela and Ahmed. The emotional upheaval wreaks havoc on both children, and causes them to be short with each other. While hiding, Ahmed overhears his father talking to Bibi Jan about his own insecurity regarding the loss of his leg. When the child is discovered, it becomes an opportunity for bridges to be mended between father and son.Bibi Jan’s diplomatic skills are once again put to the test in “Making Peace”. While looking for Mirza’s brother Ali and his wife Aisha in the city, the family is staying at a camp for displaced persons located in an old schoolhouse. While in the cramped quarters they must make their temporary home, Abdullah gets into a fight with a boy his own age over the intrusion of his bicycle in the others’ living space.As “Abdullah and the Ten-foot Soldier” opens, Abdullah, now living with his family at his uncle’s house for a week, comes down with a fever. He recalls his childhood dreams about wanting to grow up to be a soldier before he falls asleep. He dreams about meeting a giant soldier in the market who teaches him a lesson about the reality of war.In “A New Life”, Jameela expresses her joy at being able to meet Ali and Aisha as helping to offset being away from her home. However, when Haleema tells her that she will soon have a baby sister or brother, Jameela’s anxiety over the instability of their lives takes over. Her mother helps her to understand why this is a blessing for them all.“Going Home” begins with the news that after a year, the family is finally going to make the journey back home. As the family makes their preparations for their return, it is clear that there is still some tension between Haleema and Fatima. Therapeutic Elements: Healing images and symbols: hope for the future, returning home, happinessModeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: caring, cooperation, family unity, affection, industry, religious devotion, leadership and responsibility, creativityProblem Issues: fear of the unknownHealing Strategies: persevering to achieve one’s dreams, acknowledgement of other’s work and contributions

  Going Home

  Jameela and Ahmed sat together in the small yard of Uncle Ali’s house. They were trying to count the stars.

“Why are there so many stars at home and almost no stars here?” Ahmed asked his sister. “Did they run away to the country?”

‘No, Ahmed,” laughed Jameela, “the lights in the city are too bright for the smallest star to shine through.” “Oh, I see,” said Ahmed thoughtfully. “Jameela! Ahmed! Come inside, please,” called their mother, Haleema. The children jumped up and ran inside where they found their grandparents, parents, brother and uncle and aunts. Everyone was trying to look serious. “What’s wrong?” asked Jameela hesitantly.

            “Surprise! We’re going home! “ Everyone shouted in unison.

            “Jameela, Ahmed, we’re going home!” laughed Auntie Fatima. “Now you can grow your tomatoes again and play with your kittens down by the river!”

Abdullah rubbed his brother’s head. “Auntie Aisha and Uncle Ali taking a holiday. They are going to come with us and help get the farm working again.”“But Mother, can you travel so far when you are going to have a baby?” asked Jameela.“Yes, Jameela, we will be fine,” smiled Haleema. “ We will pack tomorrow and leave the next day.”  “Yes,” said Mirza, “we have sold some carpets and have enough money to go home.”Ahmed looked puzzled. “But will people in the country buy your carpets, Daddy? You make such beautiful carpets now.”“Ahmed, you are so thoughtful,” said Mirza, giving his son a hug. “Everyone will buy my carpets, they will be the best in the region. All I need now is a loom.”“Abdullah, are you coming home, too?” asked Jameela “What about your job?”“I finished today,” said Abdullah, proudly. “I’ve been transferred. Now I’m the Landmine Educator for our region. I start work in two weeks.”Jameela looked around the room. Everyone was smiling. She could not remember seeing everyone smiling before. Tears streamed down her cheeks, gathering at the ends of her grin. Everyone was together and everyone was happy. Jameela was overjoyed.Bibi Jan took her granddaughter’s hand. “We do not know if the house will be damaged or completely destroyed. Our village won’t be the same. Many of our friends died in the fighting. We must be prepared for the changes.”“We shall pray for our friends and neighbours,” added Kaka Ghulam. “We shall pray for a safe journey and a home at the end of the journey.” The family prayed together. Hope and fear mingled in their hearts.The next morning, Haleema was awake early.“Fatima, get up and get packing. We have a great deal of packing. Hurry up,” ordered Haleema. “Now that you have finished your course, it is time to do some work again.”“I will help.” Fatima watched her sister-in-law struggle to lift a crate of food. “Haleema, let me do that for you. You need to look after yourself.”“You don’t need to tell me what to do just because you are a midwife now,” said Haleema as she walked out of the door with the crate.“Why is Mother always mad at Auntie Fatima?” whispered Jameela to Bibi Jan.“Auntie Fatima needs to work hard to help this family. Your mother is making sure that does,” said Bibi Jan.“I wish they could be friends,” sighed Jameela.“Mother! Mother!” Abdullah called from the yard. “I bought a loom for Dad! Look! And I bought another donkey and a cart to carry all our belongings back home. The cart needs a little fixing but now you and Bibi Jan can rest in the cart on the journey.”“Abdullah, how did you pay for this? You have no money,” asked Haleema.“ I met a man who had just come into the city and he wanted to buy my bike. Then he asked me if I knew where to sell the donkey and cart. We got to talking and I told him I was going home and could use the cart. He said the cart was not much good without the donkey so I traded my bike for the donkey and the cart. He was very generous but we both got what we needed. As for the loom, Dad sold one of his carpets to my teacher and that was enough money to buy the loom,” exclaimed Abdullah excitedly.“ Thank you, Abdullah. That was very resourceful of you and very responsible. You are growing into such a fine young man. I am very proud of you, son.” Haleema touched her son’s cheek gently. Bibi Jan and Jameela watched from the doorway.“It is a fine donkey and cart. Well done, Abdullah,” praised Bibi Jan. “And I am sure that your father will be very appreciative of the loom. Everything is working out so well. I hope our house has been blessed with some good fortune too.”Inside, Ahmed woke to find Auntie Fatima and Auntie Aisha packing and sorting. No one noticed the little boy as he dressed and packed and tidied. He opened the door each time someone needed to pass through. He gave fresh water to the donkey. Everyone was so busy that they took no notice of his efforts to help. Finally, he sat down in the middle of the floor and folded his arms across his chest.Bibi Jan frowned at the pouting child. “What’s wrong, my little Ahmed?” she asked.“I’ve helped and helped and no one has noticed. I’ve worked very hard.”“Everyone is working hard, Ahmed. It is good that you are helping, too. Thank you for all of your work,” said Bibi Jan.“I just want to be back in the country. Little stars can shine brighter there.”  

 

Story 14 (Haleema and Fatima)

Story Synopsis: Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close.   “The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role in the as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears. Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her father’s injury, as well finding a positive means of expression of grief for Yunus for Fatima.

Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up inside “Mirza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the yearning in him to be that way again.The innocence of children once again plays a role in helping an adult deal with loss in “Yunus’ Song”. Jameela and Ahmed are playing ball when they notice that Fatima is crying for her dead husband. Ahmed tries to make her laugh by putting a pot on his head banging it, with some success. The story ends with Fatima singing a song her husband used to sing to keep his memory alive.When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Mirza’s while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city. While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or their beliefs. As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to be  “Reconciliation”.In “Mirza’s Anger”, Mirza’s loss of control over his temper has given cause for fear to both Jameela and Ahmed. The emotional upheaval wreaks havoc on both children, and causes them to be short with each other. While hiding, Ahmed overhears his father talking to Bibi Jan about his own insecurity regarding the loss of his leg. When the child is discovered, it becomes an opportunity for bridges to be mended between father and son.Bibi Jan’s diplomatic skills are once again put to the test in “Making Peace”. While looking for Mirza’s brother Ali and his wife Aisha in the city, the family is staying at a camp for displaced persons located in an old schoolhouse. While in the cramped quarters they must make their temporary home, Abdullah gets into a fight with a boy his own age over the intrusion of his bicycle in the others’ living space.As “Abdullah and the Ten-foot Soldier” opens, Abdullah, now living with his family at his uncle’s house for a week, comes down with a fever. He recalls his childhood dreams about wanting to grow up to be a soldier before he falls asleep. He dreams about meeting a giant soldier in the market who teaches him a lesson about the reality of war.In “A New Life”, Jameela expresses her joy at being able to meet Ali and Aisha as helping to offset being away from her home. However, when Haleema tells her that she will soon have a baby sister or brother, Jameela’s anxiety over the instability of their lives takes over. Her mother helps her to understand why this is a blessing for them all.“Going Home” begins with the news that after a year, the family is finally going to make the journey back home. As the family makes their preparations for their return, it is clear that there is still some tension between Haleema and Fatima.The relationship between the two women is the main theme in “Haleema and Fatima”. The family is journeying back to their village, accompanied by Ali and Aisha, who will stay with them for a visit there. Suddenly, Haleema goes into labour, and Fatima assists with the delivery, using her skills as a midwife. Though there were problems with the baby, Fatima is able to overcome and ensure a healthy birth process. This prompts Haleema to reconcile with her sister-in-law.   Therapeutic Elements: Healing images and symbols: hope, birthModeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: determination, service to others, thankfulness, loving, caring, giving,Problem Issues: fear of the unknown, griefHealing Strategies: storytelling, cooperation, hospitality and generosity to others, finding a new purpose in life, asking for and granting forgiveness,

  Haleema and Fatima

They had been walking for what seemed like days but it had only been a few hours. Early that morning they had set out full of hope and expectancy, but with every hour, they met more and more families, tired and hungry, cold and hopeless, seeking better fortune in the city.

Jameela watched the long line of travelers.“Why is everyone going to the city? Why are they leaving the country and we are going back to the country?” asked the young girl of her grandmother.Bibi Jan sighed. “In different parts of the country there is very little water so it is difficult to grow any crops. In our region, the water is scarce but there is enough. Don’t worry, Jameela. Remember when we left home, you said, you promised, that everything was going to be all right? Well, it was. The city was good for all of us. Your father learned to make carpets and now he can support his family. We will get by even if there is very little water for crops. Your brother learned to be a Landmine Educator and will be very helpful to our village and the whole region. He will save many lives by helping children to avoid the mines. Auntie Fatima has also learned a great deal about helping other people.” Bibi Jan stroked her granddaughter’s hair as they huddled together under the shawl. The donkey plodded steadily forward. “What a blessing this cart is; I am so thankful to Abdullah for his contribution to the family.”Jameela’s head nodded with the motion of the cart. She had fallen asleep. Bibi Jan tucked the shawl around her and looked at her family. Her husband, Kaka Ghulam, walked slowly leaning on the donkey. In the other hand, he held the hand of his grandson, Ahmed. She could hear that he was telling him a story about the old days to keep his thoughts from his fatigue.Mirza, her son, valiantly hobbled along on his crutches. Bibi Jan cringed to think of the pain and exhaustion he must feel. As soon as Jameela has some sleep, they would let him rest in the cart. Abdullah held his father’s arm, lending him his strength.Bibi Jan turned and looked behind her. Her three daughters-in-law walked together talking quietly. In the middle was Haleema who would soon have Bibi Jan’s fourth grandchild. Haleema looked tired. Fatima and Aisha each held an arm. Her pace was slowing.Ali followed, leading the second donkey, which was loaded with all of their belongings. How happy she was that her second son was coming home again. Her youngest son was killed by the landmine that cost Mirza his leg. Now they would be together until the farm was repaired and operational again.Jameela stirred. “Jameela, we must let your mother and father rest. It is time to walk again.”“Yes, Bibi Jan, I’ll walk,” replied the girl sleepily.“Kaka Ghulam, let Mirza and Haleema ride now please.”“Haleema, you must ride now, you look very tired,” said Bibi Jan.“Yes, the baby is very heavy.” As Haleema started to climb into the cart, she cried out in pain. “Mother, what’s wrong? Are you all right?” Jameela was frightened by the pain she could see in her mother’s face.“I think the baby will not wait until we get home,” Haleema moaned.Kaka Ghulam turned to Abdullah. “Go to that house up the road there and tell them that your mother is going to have her baby. See if they will provide her with some shelter. Hurry. Pray to Allah they will be so kind.”Jameela stared at her new sister cradled in Bibi Jan’s arms. She was amazed at the perfection of each tiny finger. Gently, she kissed the little hand.Bibi Jan looked at Fatima. “ Fatima you were very helpful and very skilled. Thank you for helping this new life come into the world. Haleema and the baby might not be alive had you not been able to help them through the difficulties. This baby is very tiny and born too early.  I am very proud of you.” Bibi Jan smiled at her young daughter-in-law.“Thank you, Fatima,” said Haleema. “I am so grateful to you .You saved her life.”“Just rest now, Haleema,” soothed Fatima, turning to take Jameela’s hand. “Let’s go and let your mother rest.”Fatima and Jameela walked through the doorway of the room. Looking up at them were many faces, some of them strangers whose language was unknown to them.“The baby is a girl and she is healthy. Haleema is resting. Everything is all right.” Fatima looked to their hosts and smiled her thanks for their generosity.“Jameela, please go tell the men our good news.”“Yes, Auntie Fatima.” Jameela ran outside to tell the others.  The next morning, Haleema, the baby and Mirza climbed into the cart. The sun warmed their backs. Their hosts had been very kind and generous. Gifts were exchanged, as were promises to visit in the future. The new baby had raised everyone’s hopes for the family’s return to the farm.“ Mirza, I am very proud of Fatima,” admitted Haleema. “She has worked very hard even though she has been so sad. I hope that her new role as midwife to our village will help her find purpose in her life without Yunus. She is so young to be a widow.”“Fatima has suffered a great deal. Perhaps we have overlooked her suffering because of our own,” said Mirza.“I am sorry that I have been unkind to her,” said Haleema sadly.“Haleema, it is Fatima who needs to hear these words.” And with that, Mirza stopped the cart, grabbing his crutches. “I will ask her to come.”Fatima climbed up and looked carefully at Haleema.“How do you feel?” she inquired.“I feel very well, thanks to you,” smiled Haleema“. I am sorry for that I was not very helpful at Ali’s house but I had to take the midwife course to keep myself from thinking about Yunus all the time. I try to think of his life but all I see is his death. I thought that perhaps seeing new life coming into the world would help me to remember his life. I had hoped that your baby would be a boy so that he could be named Yunus.”Haleema held Fatima’s hand. “ We would like to call her Fatima. Without you, she might not be alive. I hope that you can forgive my unkind words and allow us to show our gratitude,” said Haleema.Fatima wiped away her tears. “I would be honoured if you would name her Fatima.”The two women embraced each other. Each could feel the warm soft bundle of the new baby sleeping peacefully between them.

 

Story 15  (The End of the Journey)

Story Synopsis: Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close.   “The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role in the as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears. Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her father’s injury, as well finding a positive means of expression of grief for Yunus for Fatima.

Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up inside “Mirza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the yearning in him to be that way again.The innocence of children once again plays a role in helping an adult deal with loss in “Yunus’ Song”. Jameela and Ahmed are playing ball when they notice that Fatima is crying for her dead husband. Ahmed tries to make her laugh by putting a pot on his head banging it, with some success. The story ends with Fatima singing a song her husband used to sing to keep his memory alive.When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Mirza’s while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city. While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or their beliefs. As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to be  “Reconciliation”.In “Mirza’s Anger”, Mirza’s loss of control over his temper has given cause for fear to both Jameela and Ahmed. The emotional upheaval wreaks havoc on both children, and causes them to be short with each other. While hiding, Ahmed overhears his father talking to Bibi Jan about his own insecurity regarding the loss of his leg. When the child is discovered, it becomes an opportunity for bridges to be mended between father and son.Bibi Jan’s diplomatic skills are once again put to the test in “Making Peace”. While looking for Mirza’s brother Ali and his wife Aisha in the city, the family is staying at a camp for displaced persons located in an old schoolhouse. While in the cramped quarters they must make their temporary home, Abdullah gets into a fight with a boy his own age over the intrusion of his bicycle in the others’ living space.As “Abdullah and the Ten-foot Soldier” opens, Abdullah, now living with his family at his uncle’s house for a week, comes down with a fever. He recalls his childhood dreams about wanting to grow up to be a soldier before he falls asleep. He dreams about meeting a giant soldier in the market who teaches him a lesson about the reality of war.In “A New Life”, Jameela expresses her joy at being able to meet Ali and Aisha as helping to offset being away from her home. However, when Haleema tells her that she will soon have a baby sister or brother, Jameela’s anxiety over the instability of their lives takes over. Her mother helps her to understand why this is a blessing for them all.“Going Home” begins with the news that after a year, the family is finally going to make the journey back home. As the family makes their preparations for their return, it is clear that there is still some tension between Haleema and Fatima.The relationship between the two women is the main theme in “Haleema and Fatima”. The family is journeying back to their village, accompanied by Ali and Aisha, who will stay with them for a visit there. Suddenly, Haleema goes into labour, and Fatima assists with the delivery, using her skills as a midwife. Though there were problems with the baby, Fatima is able to overcome and ensure a healthy birth process. This prompts Haleema to reconcile with her sister-in-law.The healing process and renewal of the bonds that exist within the family are very evident in “The End of the Journey”. It opens with a dream that Bibi Jan has, which indicates the level of anxiety she has for the return trip and the condition of their home when they arrive. When they do, they find that the damages are minimal, and they begin the process of rediscovering what is truly important during the first meal they share together. Therapeutic Elements: Healing images and symbols: harmony, joy in simplicity, hopeModeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: cooperation, helpfulness,Problem Issues: fear of the unknown,Healing Strategies: rekindling of relationships, rediscovery of heritage, fulfillment of hopes and dreams, family unity, returning home

 

  The End of the Journey

Bibi Jan dreamed.

She was alone in a large open-air market looking for the man who was to take her home. Anxiously, she gazed into the faces of those she passed, looking for signs of recognition. But there were none. The few who even met her eyes, darted their glance away, impatiently in search of a foolish vendor with valuable goods.

As she approached an old woman waving multi-coloured scarves, Bibi Jan felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see a blind man holding two pairs of shoes; one heavily worn, the other new.

“Which ones would you like?” he asked.

“I am not sure,” she replied, cautiously, her attention fixed on his empty eye sockets.

“Then I shall advise you. These ones,” he said, extending the older pair, “know where you’ve been and will take you back much faster. These others will take some getting used to, and will go more slowly, but when you finally reach your destination, you will see it in a different light. Please, accept one as a gift.”

Bibi Jan held a finger to her lips while she decided, and then reached for the one she picked.

She awoke to the sound of Jameela coughing and stirring in her sleep, on the ground a few feet away from her.  The child sat up suddenly and looked around her as if unsure where she was. When her eyes got to Bibi Jan, she could see that she was awake.

“Can you not sleep, Bibi?” she asked.

“I can sleep, little one.”

“Did I waken you?”

“Sometimes it is more restful to be awake than to sleep”

For a moment, there was only the sound of the rhythmic breathing of their sleeping family around them.

“Will we still be home tomorrow?” Jameela asked.

“Yes, little one.”

“And will it be the same?”

“It will be what it is,” her grandmother replied. “It will be what it is.”

A little after dawn, the family awoke and made their preparations for the last leg of their journey. They loaded up the cart and donkey and bade farewell to their hosts, thanking them for their hospitality a second time. Mirza gave them a carpet he had just finished weaving the day before.

They traveled much of the way in silence that morning, Mirza would tell Ahmed a story from his childhood days. Haleema over heard them, Although she tried to appear not to do so. She was pleased to see that Mirza was growing less and less angry, and was able to demonstrate it by sifting through memories of a happier time.

Once, they passed a group of mine workers clearing a field, and Abdullah went over to them to help, and gather advice, and to give somewhere he could. The others stayed by the side of the road and rested and ate some dried fruit and biscuits. Haleema asked Fatima to hold her baby while she ate. Ahmed was giving his ears a rest from the tales of his father’s golden days, and was running about with an older boy he had just met, in an effort to create some of his own. After a while, Abdullah rejoined them, ate a little, and then urged them onward.

By late afternoon, they could see their village up ahead in the distance. Some of the houses had been bombed, others looted, and still others miraculously untouched. Their pace picked up as their thoughts turned to their house and its condition.

“Do you think it will be all right, Bibi?” Jameela wondered.

“One can only hope,” Bibi Jan answered.

“I think it will,” Ahmed offered confidently.

When at last the donkey arrived at the entrance, they were relieved to find that, outside of some damage to one of the walls, the house looked as it had the day they left. For the next few minutes, the travelers inspected the compound as a group, led by Bibi Jan. As they sized up its state, they seemed to be looking at their home and garden as if for the first time. When they were all satisfied that it was the place they remembered, they wandered off by themselves in silence.

Bibi Jan headed nervously for the stable area under the house, where she began to rummage through the straw. After a few minutes, she grew fearful, until suddenly, she felt the corner of the suitcase. Pushing the straw aside, she removed the suitcase and opened it to reveal a large number of photographs of her family history--- from her wedding, the births of all her children and grandchildren, their marriages, and many other occasions. Some of them were still in frames.

In her garden, Jameela walked with her eyes closed over to the spot where the pebble drawing had been. After offering a brief prayer to Allah, she opened here eyes to see that, to her amazement, not one pebble was out of place. She reached down and picked one up, clutching it tightly in her hands.

Ahmed, meanwhile, was in the house, reaching into a crack in the wall of the house to remove a wooden horse his father had given. He was walking back outside to show Bibi Jan his treasure when he ran into Jameela heading the same way, clutching something close to her chest.

Inside, preparations for the evening meal were being made. Bibi Jan called to the children and they went in to help. Jameela could never recall being so eager to do chores before. Their simple meal became a feast in their imaginations as the whole family gathered and gave thanks to Allah. Jameela studied the radiant faces of her family. Everyone was exhausted but so very, very happy.

Jameela looked over to Ahmed and smiled.

“It is good to be home,” she said.

Ahmed smiled and nodded in agreement. “This is the best meal I’ve ever had.”

 

Story 16  (Building the Future)

Story Synopsis: Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.In “The Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother. With the guidance of their grandmother,  Bibi Jan they learn how they might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close.   “The Wisdom of  Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role in the as comforter and adviser.  concern over the change in personality of a school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela revelation that she is having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears. Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making Butter-Bread”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her father’s injury, as well finding a positive means of expression of grief for Yunus for Haleema.

Jameela is finding it very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up inside “Mirza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the yearning in him to be that way again.The innocence of children once again plays a role in helping an adult deal with loss in “Yunus’s Song”. Jameela and Ahmed are playing ball when they notice that Haleema is crying for her dead husband. Ahmed tries to make her laugh by putting a pot on his head banging it, with some success. The story ends with Haleema singing a song her husband used to sing to keep his memory alive.When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Mirza’s while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city. While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or their beliefs. As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and throwsit  in the bushes off to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to  Bibi Jan’s to find a path  “Reconciliation”.In “Mirza’s Anger”, Mirza’s loss of control over his temper has given cause for fear to both Jameela and Ahmed. The emotional upheaval wreaks havoc on both children, and causes them to be short with each other. While hiding, Ahmed overhears his father talking to  Bibi Jan about his own insecurity regarding the loss of his leg. When the child is discovered, it becomes an opportunity for bridges to be mended between father and son.Bibi Jan’s diplomatic skills are once again put to the test in “Making Peace”. While looking for Mirza’s brother Ali and his wife Aisha in the city, the family is staying at a camp for displaced persons located in an old schoolhouse. While in the cramped quarters they must make their temporary home, Abdullah gets into a fight with a boy his own age over the intrusion of his bicycle in the others’ living space.As “Abdullah and the Ten-foot Soldier” opens, Abdullah, now living with his family at his uncle’s house for a week, comes down with a fever. He recalls his childhood dreams about wanting to grow up to be a soldier before he falls asleep. He dreams about meeting a giant soldier in the market who teaches him a lesson about the reality of war.In “A New Life”, Jameela expresses her joy at being able to meet Ali and Aisha as helping to offset being away from her home. However, when Haleema tells her that she will soon have a baby sister or brother, Jameela’s anxiety over the instability of their lives takes over. Her mother helps her to understand why this is a blessing for them all.“Going Home” begins with the news that after a year, the family is finally going to make the journey back home. As the family makes their preparations for their return, it is clear that there is still some tension between Haleema and Haleema.The relationship between the two women is the main theme in “Haleema and Haleema’s”. The family is journeying back to their village, accompanied by Ali and Aisha, who will stay with them for a visit there. Suddenly, Haleema goes into labour, and Haleema assists with the delivery, using her skills as a midwife. Though there were problems with the baby, Haleema is able to overcome and ensure a healthy birth process. This prompts Haleema to reconcile with her sister-in-law.The healing process and renewal of the bonds that exist within the family are very evident in “The End of the Journey”. It opens with a dream that  Bibi Jan has, which indicates the level of anxiety she has for the return trip and the condition of their home when they arrive. When they do, they find that the damages are minimal, and they begin the process of rediscovering what is truly important during the first meal they share together.“Building the Future” presents the family coming together as a unit and working to restore their home. They can now turn their concerns to the community at large. After Abdullah encounters a few of his friends in the village, he comes up with the idea of rebuilding homes that have been damaged in the war. Along with the others, Abdullah begins a campaign of community restoration which also solidifies the next step in his personal growth and heightens the admiration of his younger siblings. The final image of the story is that of a community working and singing together.Therapeutic Elements: Healing images and symbols: rebuilding, laughter, joyModeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: generosity, sharing, giving, service to others, cooperation, humour, recognition of virtuous behaviourProblem Issues: Coping with destructionHealing Strategies: Cooperative work, singing

Building the Future

Now that the family was back home, everyone, grandparents, parents, aunts, uncle and children worked hard to resettle and restore the household. So much had happened since they fled the fighting which swept through their village that it seemed much longer than only a year ago. The children, Abdullah, Jameela and Ahmed were very glad to be back. Their house was damaged very little, but not every family had been so fortunate.

"My friend Shazia has to stay with neighbours," said Jameela. "Her house is a wreck. She has hardly any clothes. Mama, can I give her one of my dresses?""Darling, you haven't many clothes yourself. But if you want to give her something, you can."Abdullah came in. "I've walked around the village. Three houses are completely demolished, and another five are badly damaged. Then a lot more have some parts damaged. We were pretty lucky. I don't know what those other families will do. Some of them are back now, like us." "Maybe a magic giant will come along," said little Ahmed. "He'll take some clay and make bricks as quick as a flash, and build them into beautiful houses. He'll stick his big finger down to make a chimney hole..."By now, everyone was laughing at Ahmed, who was pretending to be a giant, clomping around with heavy footsteps.Abdullah went out again to look at the ruined houses. In some, one or two men were slowly dismantling the remnants of the walls. He met two of his friends from school. They talked about what had happened to them in the year since the village was shelled. AS they chatted they watched the men in their sad demolition task."No school yet, " said Massoud. "The building was pretty badly shelled.""What'll we do?" said Ajmal. "I suppose our families will find lots for us to work at.""I'll be working in Mines Awareness education,” said Abdullah, trying to conceal is pride in his new job. "They’re starting an office in this area next month. I got some training in the city.""Wow!" said Ajmal. "Lucky you!""Hey, guys!" Abdullah looked excited. "What if we form a team to help people fix their houses? We can do that work. My Dad has shown me how to mix the mud and lay the bricks.""Great idea, Abdullah. I know some other guys who might join us in this," said MassoudWhen they met next day there were seven teenage boys who wanted to join the rebuilding team.They went together to the worst -hit house and offered their services. The unhappy-looking man working in the wreckage looked stunned at first, then smiled and assigned them tasks. The boys worked very hard. They sang school songs as they worked. Passing villagers stopped to look. They made a big difference in a short time to the task of restoring the house.By the time Abdullah arrived home to eat, the family had already heard about the team of teenage rebuilders. They had also heard that it was Abdullah's idea to start it. Haleema approached him as he stood in the doorway. She embraced him and then stepped back to admire how much he had grown."Abdullah, my son, my wild one," Haleema put her hands on his tall shoulders. "I've worried and prayed so much about you. Now I know Allah is answering my prayers. I'm so proud of what you're doing."Ahmed looked up from his meal and stared up at the immensity of his brother. "I think he really is the magic giant," he said, and the others laughed.Kaka Ghulam said, "The shura is organizing the reconstruction. They'll tell you which places need help the most. Maybe they can get the word out to form more teams." “I’m glad you are my brother,” Jameela called. “I am, too,” Abdullah responded. “We’ve got to start up your lesson again, young Jameela.”  Jameela smiled at the thought of finding her brighter again.The next day, the boys went back to work restoring ruined houses.  Now there were so many they had to form two teams.  The mother of Massoud and Ajmaal came to the family’s home.  Together the women cooked all morning, they made it smiled delicious.  Shazia came to help Jameela wrap them carefully in cloths.  Ahmad filled some pots with water.  At lunch time, children carried the food and drinks to the team of boys.  The boy began singing together.  They changed the words of one of their school songs."War is fire burning all in its path.We are burned but our limbs are healing.Now we must rebuild our homes, Now is the time to reconcile with our brothers and sisters,Now we shall untie the knotsAnd sing and dance with each other, free of hatred."

There were only seven young men but it was amazing how far their voices could be heard.